Thanks

Lots of things have happened to me recently, and nearly all of them have made me realise how extremely lucky I am to have my friends and family. I am always so surprised by how little I appreciate them in everyday life when times like this roll around and I have sudden revelations about how important they are to me.

So far this week my friends have made me cry at least three times with their kindness (make that four) and thoughtfulness towards me and members of my family have made me cry at least twice. Yes, I know what you're thinking; it must be really easy to make me cry and, well, you'd be right. Anyways, this isn't a post about how often I cry, it's a post to say thanks to everyone for all the things they do.

It shouldn't take times like this, or last Easter, to remind me of how great my friends and family are. I know I should appreciate them more and tell them so, but I only ever seem to realise this when times like this come around. So basically guys, this is just me telling you how much I appreciate everything you do for me, especially the little things because they do make the most difference really.

Take last Easter for example (I can't believe it's really been a year), the fact that my school friends phoned me to make sure I was OK rather than just trying to communicate with me via texts meant the World to me at the time - it still does - because they knew it was important to me  (Maria even offered to take me clubbing!) and they love me enough to just phone me and listen while I tried not to cry.

So anyway, this wasn't a whinge about my life. Thank you so much everyone, I've never done anything to deserve you guys and I know I sound like a terrible poem, but I needed to thank you somehow.
So here is a picture:

Soul Band

My favourite people in the entire world (minus one). Except that several of this year's members (Chris, Harry, Harry, Hugo, Asa, Irene) are missing, so pretend they're there too :)

Another fantastic night last night guys, especially the choreography of the trumpets! I am going to miss you so much next year, but I'm sure you'll be glad to see the back of me (especially Jack, who has to put up with my playing at the closest range!!!)

Sporadic Is A Fun Word

I apologise firstly for my sporadic writing-ness of this blog, I have (would you believe) a life outside of the Internet, which (unfortunately) must come first. So I thought I'd update my single, lonely reader on what's going on, which isn't much. So I'm pondering the future.

Basically, because I want to study Law (with German) next year people immediately assume that I want to be a lawyer, possibly in Germany. Which I don't. Not that I'm not considering living in Germany; that actually sounds like fun and I love it there, so it's a possibility. But being a lawyer is something I don't really want to do.

[MASSIVE SIDEBAR: I should explain at this point for people who may not entirely understand. 'Lawyer' is a collective term for 'barristers' (the people who stand up in court and wear the wigs) and 'solicitors' (who are the ones who do the civil cases, such as divorce and spend most of their time on paperwork.) 'Lawyer' is not actually a separate job, however, there is some crossover between the two jobs which count as lawyers: Barristers do obviously have to do some paperwork, and Solicitors can represent people in court if they are asked. But training for either job is almost ten years and neither position is something I would like to do particularly.]

Therefore I think it would be fairer if I left the limited lawyer jobs to the thousands of people who desperately want them.

This then begs the question "What do you want to do then, you weirdo?" And I have to say, to be honest, I don't really know. I would really like to do something with/in German, but I know I may not be able to without working for a Bank (something 18 years of second-hand experience has warned me against.) However, I'd quite like to work for the Government, maybe as an official translator or some such position, or maybe in international relations.

In all honesty, I'd love to be a writer. I love writing (usually screenplays or this blog) and I'd love to be able to spend more time doing it, but I know that writing isn't really a steady career and I wouldn't be able to support myself, let alone a family, on the money I would potentially earn.

So once again, I must live in the real world and not the perfect hypothetical world I've created for myself. I hate being sensible, it ruins everything. Advice?

Square One, Tom Petty

It makes me want to cry, but it also makes me feel sorry for the person in the song. So here are the words.

Had to find some higher ground
Had some fear to get around
You can't say what you don't know
Later on won’t work no more
Last time though I hid my tracks
So well I could not get back
Yeah my way was hard to find
Can't sell your soul for peace of mind

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

Try so hard to stand alone
Struggle to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones
I could never wear those clothes

It's a dark victory
You won and you are so lost
Told her you were satisfied
But it never came across

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

A Rediscovery

So hey, here I am again, just pottering around the contorted crevices of my brain and I've discovered and am now pondering the beautiful music of Tom Petty. I am, of course, already aware of his music; Highway Companion was actually my parents's highway companion for about a year, so every trip we went on, we would listen to it. What's more, he was also a member of The Traveling Wilburys, unquestionably the best supergroup in existence (except perhaps The Rockers, but that is an EPQ-worthy debate.)

First and foremost, Petty's voice is fantastic - it's quite rough and almost vulnerable, which makes the words of his songs so much more powerful to the listener. It's also a very distinctive voice which means that, especially in The Traveling Wilburys, his voice stands out from the likes of Roy Orbison and Jeff Lynne, whose voices are both very smooth and refined.

The second thing which makes Tom Petty's work so good are the amazing lyrics. Bob Dylan once called Tom Petty a poet, but he has always denied it. Personally, I agree with Dylan. I mean, look at this, for example:

Tried so hard to stand alone,
Struggled to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones;
I could never wear those clothes.

To me, those words (taken from 'Square One', from Highway Companion) are haunting and beautiful. But if you don't like that, how about this?:

So If I come to your door
Let me sleep on your floor,
I'll give you all I have and a little more.

That's the chorus to 'Down South', also from Highway Companion and not only is it some of the best writing for a song that I've ever heard (for me, it's up there with Don McLean's 'Vincent' and 'Mist On A Monday Morning' by Roy Wood) it's also something so wonderfully written that it wouldn't look out of place in an A-Level poetry analysis.

If anyone is interested, or keeping notes, I have also added Square One to my list of music which I would like at my funeral. I've posted link below, so you can see why. Also below is a link to a Web Page about some of the more well-known songs Petty has written. Thanks for reading :)



http://performingsongwriter.com/tom-petty-songs/

Commitments (not marital ones)

Over the last few months, it has struck me that a lot of my friends don't take their responsibilities as seriously as I do, so today I am pondering dedication and commitment.

Anyone who knows me will know that I do everything; Guides, Scouts, Bands, Church, Choirs, helping in classes, private tutoring, form prefecting, the EPQ, etc. etc. And I do all of these things to the best of my ability; if I say I'll be somewhere or do something, the I will try my darnedest to be there or do it (a few weeks ago, when I missed the Year Seven inter-form badminton competition I felt so guilty, especially as the Captain didn't go either) and long standing commitments, such as bands, always come first to me. Obviously, I know that other people don't take this stance and often "blow off" bands/choirs etc. for other things and I don't have a problem with that, it's their choice. But until recently, I hadn't realised how common it was.

Even people who I thought would be as dedicated to their work and extra activities as I am (people who I would deem the most reliable and moral people I've ever met) are willing to 'skive' or 'pull a sickie' on a band rehearsal or event which they think will be boring, or that they cannot be bothered with on that particular day.

To be honest, I've learnt two things from this. Firstly, I am apparently incredibly dedicated to everything compared to others (even those I thought would be less likely to miss things like that). Secondly, dedication doesn't seem to be related in any way to being a good person. This surprised me, as I've always considered that one of the things which made me a good person (perhaps actually the only thing) was that I could be relied on to do anything I was required to. But some of my closest friends and the nicest people I've ever met (including the Captain) don't need to be like that to make them good people, they are just inherently good in other ways.
Wow. Surprisingly deep.

Also, I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone who sent me good wishes for my Birthday the other day. I'm sorry I've not been prompt in replying to any of it (social networking has not been kind to me), but I will get back to you, if I haven't already. I love you all :)

Badger of Honour

So, today I was pondering what people must think of me when they see me and don't know me. I don't worry about people who don't know me and what they think, I was just pondering it because if you didn't know me, it must be quite confusing to see someone wearing a medal made from a badger.

For those of you who do know me, you'll know that normality isn't my strong point; I can wear a perfectly sensible outfit and think "gosh, how boring!" Usually that leads me to wear, y'know, bright blue tights or a fabulous hat. I am now also the proud owner of a reindeer onesie, which did have glow in the dark stars and things on it, but I think they fell off.

So anyway, today I was out at a University Visit Day and decided I should probably dress fairly sensibly, no pyjamas, or hats, or garish colours. I decided I had to be subtle and sensible. Then, at the last minute I thought that I should wear my Badger of Honour.

Let me explain. The Badger of Honour was something my friend Phoebe invented. We have no idea how or why, but it's an amazing idea! It's a small wooden badger attached to a black-and-white striped ribbon. They were given to each of the Explorer girls for Christmas but, as far as I know, I'm the only one who actually wears mine. I wear it when my outfit needs to be fairly sensible, but I can't be bothered to be boring. Which is not very often.

I really should wear it more.

I just realised that my fashion sense is oddly similar to Ella's....
Oh well!

A quick plug for you! If you like music jokes and making fun of people who like soulless mass-produced pop, you'll probably like http://www.musiciansare.com . It's a meme site for memes about music, but not just pop music; it is a mixture of pop and actual band stuff, so I'm not sure if it will appeal to you.