Commitments (not marital ones)

Over the last few months, it has struck me that a lot of my friends don't take their responsibilities as seriously as I do, so today I am pondering dedication and commitment.

Anyone who knows me will know that I do everything; Guides, Scouts, Bands, Church, Choirs, helping in classes, private tutoring, form prefecting, the EPQ, etc. etc. And I do all of these things to the best of my ability; if I say I'll be somewhere or do something, the I will try my darnedest to be there or do it (a few weeks ago, when I missed the Year Seven inter-form badminton competition I felt so guilty, especially as the Captain didn't go either) and long standing commitments, such as bands, always come first to me. Obviously, I know that other people don't take this stance and often "blow off" bands/choirs etc. for other things and I don't have a problem with that, it's their choice. But until recently, I hadn't realised how common it was.

Even people who I thought would be as dedicated to their work and extra activities as I am (people who I would deem the most reliable and moral people I've ever met) are willing to 'skive' or 'pull a sickie' on a band rehearsal or event which they think will be boring, or that they cannot be bothered with on that particular day.

To be honest, I've learnt two things from this. Firstly, I am apparently incredibly dedicated to everything compared to others (even those I thought would be less likely to miss things like that). Secondly, dedication doesn't seem to be related in any way to being a good person. This surprised me, as I've always considered that one of the things which made me a good person (perhaps actually the only thing) was that I could be relied on to do anything I was required to. But some of my closest friends and the nicest people I've ever met (including the Captain) don't need to be like that to make them good people, they are just inherently good in other ways.
Wow. Surprisingly deep.

Also, I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone who sent me good wishes for my Birthday the other day. I'm sorry I've not been prompt in replying to any of it (social networking has not been kind to me), but I will get back to you, if I haven't already. I love you all :)

What I Really Do...

This basically covers my ponderings for today...

Life Ambition

So, I woke up the other day and had what can only be described as an epiphany; I realised that the only thing I want to achieve in life is a happy ending. I know this sounds like a big ask, but think about it. I have, I've been pondering it...

There are only really a few ingredients to a happy ending; traditionally, you have to have a handsome Prince but, to be honest, I'm closer to expecting a reasonable-looking, vaguely articulate/educated man. Secondly, I think health is of the utmost importance; not necessarily meaning I want to be stick-thin and exercise a lot, just that I want to still be able to do all the regular things I do at the moment without needing a stairlift or whatever. And still understand what an apple is for, not in the William Tell sense. Thirdly, I just want to be happy; not in a superficial way, just happy. Able to do things that I want/like to do without persecution and just generally able to enjoy life as much as I have the chance to at the moment.

Finally, it's just the fairy story appeal, isn't it? To be brutally honest, my parents ruined me when they let me constantly watch Snow White when I was younger; I grew up believing that good things happened to good people and that everyone eventually found their perfect match, their handsome prince, and everything would turn out perfectly in the end. Unfortunately, the real world isn't actually as ideal as fairy stories made it seem, and sometimes horrible things happen to normal people who try to be good. That's just the way it is.

But I stand by my beliefs; some day my Prince will come. And I probably won't even notice when he does...

Cub Camp

So, as many of you may know, I have been helping at the District Cub Camp this weekend with a fantastic group of people. Therefore I have been pondering the joys of Cubs, camping and the general topic of Scoutists. So basically, I have decided that I really don't want to be a Cub Leader! I don't know how they do it! The first night, the majority of them were awake until two am chatting and generally being awesome, yet several of them were awake again at four thirty, yelling at the Cubs to shut up and go back to sleep (but more politely, obviously). How do they do it?!?!?! It's amazing. The second night was almost the same, we were up until at least quarter to two, and yet everyone was awake and functioning properly fairly early the next morning. I swear, Cub Leaders have super-human powers.

At this point it may be useful to introduce the leaders, although we didn't actually learn their real names until the last night, as the Cubs tended to call them all by names such as "Akela". We invented our own nicknames, some of which I shall explain. Firstly, there was (of course) Jean (the Cuffley Akela) and Maureen (Hathi). Then there was Rolf Harris, who I think was really called Dave, who appeared to be the Akela-In-Charge, and his sons Beer Guy (Baloo - also Grant) and Steve-the-Two (not sure of his Cub name, but he was really Ian). Finally there was BeardyWeirdy (Miles, we also heard him called "Teenage Mutant Ginger Turtle") and Pencil Guy (Rikki Tikki Tavi - definitely pronounced Tar-vi, not Tay-vi - who was also known as Paul). I shan't go into the whole double-alias thing as it begins to get confusing.

There was also Other Ian, Bagheera (whose real name we don't know), Juan, Julio, GuythatlookslikePip and various people who didn't get nicknames as they didn't do anything awesome enough to warrant one. Or spend enough time with us for us to get to know them.

Anyway, these guys were cool.

Finally, this weekend, I have decided that, in the highly unlikely case that I actually become a Cub Leader, I would like to be Baloo, as he is awesome. Also, I think I would suit Baloo more than, for example, Bagheera or Kaa, and Rikki Tikki Tavi is just really really long...

An Apology

I have been asked to point out that Oliver is not the only person to read this, Misa does too....

She sent me this photo: Who is that person? They don't look half bad...

<--- Apart from this one!

Surprisingly, I like some of these. Which, for me, is hilarious... The middle one is just too sexy.

What Am I?

As you can see, my ponderances this week have been mostly philosophical, on a personal level. I have been trying to decide what I am, based on what I know and what had been said about me in the past.

Well, to start with, I'm a girl, although some people say I'm now a woman (hahaha), and Mr Bean (bless 'im) called me a "lady". But I'll stick to girl. According to one person, I'm "a lovely girl with a special personality", but, as someone else said, I'm a "weirdo". They're probably just two ways of saying the same thing...

I'm a rocker, a student, a tea-totalist (shhh, it's a thing...) and a member of a generation which is in the process of ruining the planet for all those who come after us, whilst trying to clear up the mess left behind by the last lot. I've been labelled an anarchist, a communist and fascist (all in the same conversation, by the same person), but only the first two of these are true.

I'm sober, legal, underage, overage, conscientious, stressed, overworked, underworked, tired and confused. I'm a Scout and a Guide (please don't take offence Martha, I did it alphabetically) and I always will be. Apparently, I'm a "musician", but I have very little sense of rhythm, I'm an alto in most of the choirs, I'm the only girl in the school Soul Band who's not a singer and I'm the only person in the school crazy enough to own a barington (baritone) saxophone.

According to recent surveys - or some other unreliable source - I'm broken-hearted, which I suppose answers the question "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?"; they write stupid blogs nobody except Oliver cares about. I'm used and abused, forgotten, remembered, lead, followed, thanked, ignored, asked and answered, Armenian (but not really, it just sounded good. I like alliteration) and apparently, I'm opinionated, but I think otherwise...

I'm a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter and a cousin to name but a few. I'm also - hopefully - a friend, I very love you all much, and a provider of Vegan Cake twice a term for my RS Class ( It's you guys).

I'm many other things too; in the depths of the internet somewhere I'm a little teapot, but the less said about that, the better. Seeing as this post is one of the longest yet, we can also assume I'm quite arrogant, but I promise I'm not usually. I'd write a post about my friends, but I'm sure I'd miss someone out, so I'll play it safe and not... None of this really answers the question, but it's a start. If you feel like if (If anyone's reading this) you can comment with stuff that you are and I can agree / disagree as I see fit.