Saturday 14 May 2016

Thoughts on my Year Aborad

A couple of people have said that they think what I'm doing this year is really brave, or that they couldn't do it. This was never something that occurred to me, as a year abroad was part of my life plan since the age of 14 or so. But it got me thinking, nay pondering, the challenges I've actually faced this year.

To be honest, there haven't been that many that have really bothered me; obviously moving to somewhere you've never been to before and where you don't know anyone is not going to go smoothly, and there will always be difficulties and problems. But the most of these (starting a new job, moving into a new flat, speaking German all the time, and missing friends and family back home) have been manageable. The most difficult thing out of all of these was the constant German, but that got easier after a few months, and it hardly fries my brain at all now.

One of the problems that a lot of people...



Sorry, Daniel almost bought a boat. I got distracted.


One of the problems that a lot of people find when they start their year abroad is making new friends. However, I wasn't given the opportunity to be friendless, as I was so warmly welcomed to every single social event in the world ever. On my first day of work, I was invited to the cinema. A few days later, they did it again. When I moved into my new flat, my flatmate Meg introduced me to everyone and anyone she could find. The BdP (scouts) threw me into their leaders meetings and camps without a second thought, and I had to make friends from there. So you see, there was no chance of me ever being alone.

This didn't necessarily solve all my problems, however. As Matt, Daniel, or even Stevan will tell you, the biggest problem I've faced this year has been loneliness. I have amazing friends here in Braunschweig, and equally amazing friends back home in both Nottingham and Cuffley/whever they've ended up, but isolation has still been a problem. I've often felt like I have nobody to talk to about problems I've had, or even that I've not been able to tell people when I've been lonely.
Part of the problem is that I don't want to bother people. I don't want to waste their time when I know that they already spend a lot of time with me. But part of it is really that, after only a few months, you can't tell how close you are going to be with someone. What if I talked to the wrong person about what I was thinking and they thought I was being silly? What if I didn't end up staying friends with them long-term?

All of these thoughts are silly, but that's just how it was for me. Fortunately, I found a couple of people I knew I could trust, and I spoke to them. That doesn't mean I didn't annoy them or waste their time, but it means that I know I'd do the same for them. If I waste their time with my silly problems now, I and they both know that they can come to me with silly problems at a later time.

And I'm glad. Now I have excellent (if somewhat mad) friends and people that I know I'll keep in touch with well beyond the end of my few months here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're ever in that situation where you don't know if you should talk to someone or not, do it! There's no worse feeling in the world than loneliness, and nobody deserves to go through that. Give yourself a little bit of courage, and talk to someone. It can only make things better. :)

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