An Open Letter to a Personal Hero

Dear Dr. Wood,

We met briefly in the pub before your concert in St Albans last month. It was one of the best concerts I've seen you do. I don't know why, because it's exactly the same set I've been seeing live since 2008. But something about that particular show was better, even perhaps better than your performance at the O2 with Status Quo a few years back.

You might vaguely remember me. I came into the pub with my dad about ten minutes before the show was due to start, and was slightly gobsmacked at actually meeting you in person. It was just such a surreal experience. You - Roy Wood - were there. In a Wetherspoons, right in front of me.
My dad asked you to sign about a million copies of the painting hanging in our "music room" (anyone else would call it the dining room); The Songwriter by Debra Dee, from the collection of portraits she painted of you. They were on display at St Paul's Gallery in Birmingham in 2012. It's one of the more crazy things my dad has ever bought - I remember coming home from school one day, and he was just grinning like a fool. I didn't even have to ask why. I think my exact words were "which one did you buy?" Apparently that painting makes up a portion of my inheritance. My boyfriend is thrilled...

We took a few photos together, which astonished friends and family. There are hardly any photos of my dad in existence. Surprisingly, this isn't because he's a vampire; it's simply because he doesn't like photos. When I was growing up, the only picture of him on display in our house was meeting you at some obscure concert in some obscure year of the 80s. I think that speaks volumes for you.

Without needing to be asked, my dad told you that his favourite song of yours is "Mist on a Monday Morning". And he's right, the poetry of the words is amazing, and the orchestration is very clever. Dad asked you if you'd written it (he knew you had, but didn't want to get it wrong, I think), to which you said "Of course I did, you knob." That sent him reeling. Hours later he was still over the moon; "Roy Wood called me a knob!", he kept joyously repeating.
When asked, you said that your favourite song from your extensive catalogue is "Beautiful Daughter". I agree that it's a lovely song, and I'm sure it has much more meaning to you than it does to anyone else. That's just how these things are. But it got me thinking about which of the thousands is my favourite. I'm sure you probably don't want to know, but I'd like to tell you.

It took some consideration. Being born in the 90s means that I have very little concept of what was popular, or successful, or even sometimes exactly when things were released. I also get confused between The Move and early ELO sometimes, but I'm working on it.
There are the obvious favourite songs, such as "See My Baby Jive" and "Angel Fingers", but whilst brilliant, neither of those was ever really contenders for me. I love "Blackberry Way", especially the new edit on Music Book, but I never know whether to laugh or cry when I hear it. It's quite a painful song in a strange way.
I absolutely adore "Brontosaurus", although it's a little muddy-sounding, and I think that building it into the intro for "California Man" is genius. "California Man" is another amazing song, although my experience with real Californian men leaves something to be desired. And I have to point out, Dr. Wood, you're not actually from California. You're from Birmingham. Sorry to break it to you.
I also get some enjoyment from the mad, comedic songs you've produced, such as "Curly" and "When Gran'ma Plays The Banjo". Heaven knows why. "Jolly Cup Of Tea" is also on the list. Somewhere.

But in the end, Dr. Wood, I think my favourite song you've ever written is "Whisper In The Night". There's a recording, an old live recording, of you playing it without the choir, and that's one of my favourite recordings ever, I think. It starts with you saying "That was Jeff Lynne, of course. Of course... Of course..."  and then you go on to explain the song. It's beautiful and I don't really know why. That song also contains on of my favourite quotes of all time; "Though God gave the world // It's not mine to throw away." I don't know if you're religious or if it's just there for musicality, but it really strikes a chord with me. But I suppose you don't need telling how amazing your work is. It's right there, every Christmas, when the whole world is playing your song. (And a smaller portion of the world is playing your other song, "Sing Out The Old, Bring In The New". That's also great, by the way.)

But I've been talking for a while now, I'd better stop so you can get on. I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. Wood, is thank you. Thanks for being a genius and writing a lot of my favourite songs; thank you for founding most of my favourite bands too. But thank you most of all for being a decent human being, and letting a starstruck young woman and her dad interrupt you in a pub. Having a hero who's also a stand up guy is a real blessing.

I'm going to another of your concerts this year, I've been incredibly lucky. A friend and I are going to Birmingham on the 20th December to see Rockmas, with you, Chas and Dave, and Andy Fairweather-Low and the Low Riders. We even got seats really close to the front. You won't be surprised to hear that I'm looking forward to it!

Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you again.
Best wishes,
Emma

If Songs Were Friends

Or if friends were songs...

I like music and friends. The two don't usually like each other (Daniel is still getting over "One 4 Xmas" by HotPantz), but I like both. Therefore I'm spending my time linking my friends with certain songs. See the list below...

Alice has to be represented by something we sang in the choir together. Heaven knows what, because we sang so much! I think I can narrow it down to a song from the Albert Hall concert, but that still leaves five choices. Or does it? Well, considering that the other two options are the School Song and Gold, yes. Yes it does. So it has to be the iconic Werner Song, Mercy Street. Nice one, Simon ;)

Harri, on the other hand, has never been quite as musical as some of my other friends. Apart from stating a total dislike for ELO (whose most popular song they once retitled "The day my cat killed your grandma with a toaster"), nothing really stands out about Harri's music tastes in my memory. Except that one Chemistry lesson, where we sang "GOLD! Always recycle your knees" to poor Mr Jays... But for a period in the lower school, they did like the Jam, so I suppose I always associate Harri with Eton Rifles.

Elizbeth is a difficult one. I have very fond memories of her shouting at her iPod "But WHERE did you end up Amy?! Oh yes, that's right - REHAB!" Then of course, there's the possibility of Grey Squirrel, or Auntie Monica. And I have great memories of singing Mr Brightside with her at the top of my lungs at Tolmers. But my strongest musical link to Liz is probably Hot and Cold, which must be sung in the most awful Scottish accent achievable.

Helen deserves something glorious. But Helen and Jordan together can only be one thing. And I am truly sorry to everyone who clicks on this link. Except Helen. I don't really care that Helen had to suffer that ;)
But Helen and Jordan separately are difficult to place. I think I'm going to have to go a bit hipster (you won't have heard of it) and say Lion's Heart for Helen, because of the strong independent woman bit, and the Gryffindor link. For Jordan, I think it has to be something cheesy, but also dreadful. Maybe this Ukranian Eurovision entry from a few years ago?

I think for Daniel there is only one choice. When he found out that I know Ein Lied Für Dich, he basically had a heart attack. Apparently Brits shouldn't know German music. Unless it's weird comedy songs about Käsebrot.

For James and Lewis there's not much else I can say about this tune. (Although, as the Yanks say, "Peterhooooouse".) A close second for Lewis was Man! I Feel Like a Woman. Not because he is effeminate, but because of an occurrence at the Wolfenbüttel Christmas Market.

Matt and I have never had a "couples song"; I don't even know if that's something people in the real world do. He suggested Rick Astley when I asked him, but I actually think The Proclaimers is a better fit, given Graham fitting our names into it at Phatpocket, various car rides and the infamous QSA hike. We didn't quite walk five hundred miles, but it certainly felt like it.

Declan was a tough decision. It had to be something from the musical The Producers, but the obvious choice seems a bit too obvious. The problem is, I really associate Springtime for Hitler with Emily (or maybe Helen), so maybe there is only one choice. He told me he didn't want it to be Poing.

There are, of course, lots of people missing from this list, including a whole load of people I always think of when I hear Dynamite, or The Final Countdown, or any other number of Owen's-related songs. And for some people it's really hard to pin it down to the most important song. Or even any song at all
 in some cases.

So whatever, that's it from me. again. I'll probably be in touch at some point, either by blog or in actual people. Thanks for reading again. Much love xx

Put Your Arms Around the World

In recent weeks I've been told off several times for "throwing [my]self at fully grown men." Despite this making me sound like some sort of seductive temptress who lures married men away from their innocent, loving wives, the reality is simpler, and less sordid. Far from being cast as the femme fatale in this little skit I am, in fact, being described as childish. But, never one to take criticism too seriously (haha, yeah right) I've not let this deter me, and I'm carrying on doing my thing. Haters gonna hate and all that.

Everyone who knows me is aware that I am, when appropriate, a very tactile person. In fact, I've even written about it on this blog. It's no big secret, I like hugs. It's how I make and greet friends, how I say goodbye; it's how I show thanks, or apologise; it's how I show sympathy or tell someone that I'm sorry they're having a bad time. I even hug people to put my magical healing properties into action.

At work over the summer I made many new friends and renewed some old acquaintances. I also found in Other Dan (Fleabag Monkeyboy) someone who is as tactile and friendly as I am. Which was amazing. And, after some discussion about friends and handling interpersonal relationships, hugging became part of our daily communication. (The same can be said for Dan, who also willingly jumped on the hug wagon - often taking it a little too far...)

Seeing old friends after a long time apart has also led to much encircling of people in arms recently, as I have returned to my "spiritual home" (intellectual home? part-time home? who knows?!) in Nottingham after more than a year away. Seeing Declan and Tom led to more grasping of fully grown men into welcoming and friendly death grips/embraces in the kitchen, the street, the cinema, and the bus stop. Even Lewis, who I saw in March on a fleeting trip round Braun Town, was (willingly) subjected to a cuddle in the middle of the Clive Granger Building. Not that I had much choice; his arms are so long he'd have hugged me from the end of the corridor...
Of course, seeing Emily, Chloe and Helen, my former TEAM from Abbey Road (or what normal people call "housemates"), again after so long also called for hugs! Especially after Chloe had actually worked out who I was. However, they are not grown men, so their mention in this blog is only honorary.

Last weekend I also did my share of hugging when I wasn't being the Super Scout Translator. I spent the weekend in Viernheim with my wonderful DPSG friends, and Paul and Nicole from Potters Bar. Seeing Gabi always calls for a hug; ditto Markus, who is about as full grown and male as it gets. Other friends, who I only got to know at the weekend, were not greeted with hugs, but were still cuddled close to my healing chest upon departure, meaning I left with more hugs than I arrived with! In fact, I wasn't even the cuddliest person on the weekend trip; the two young daughters of Paul and Nicole's hosts were far cuddlier than I during my time in Viernheim last week. We were, in the most literal sense, welcomed into the bosom of the family.

There are, naturally, many people I haven't had the chance to hug recently too. The most obvious to me are members of my family, including my grandparents (and Jean, of course. She counts), Auntie Margaret, and various aunts, uncles, cousins, and Victorian swimsuit models. There are lots of friends I haven't seen for a long time, too, including most of my old Owen's pals, who I seemed to always miss seeing over the summer. I'll hug them all soon. Then of course there are the people who are too far away, such as Daniel, Doreen, Sammi, Crowdy... The list is practically endless.

So in conclusion, a good, healthy hug is perfectly OK. There is nothing bad about expressing friendship through physical contact (except in a Scout leader/Explorer context, which is sad. But Teej is 18 now at least!), so the haters can shut up. Bad haters. Don't you have something important to be doing? Like researching Charles Taylor or something? Jeez.
Of course, respecting boundaries is important, and it's a pain when someone gets all up in your grill. But in general, throwing yourself at fully grown men is a perfectly acceptable pastime. And far better than throwing yourself at, for example, brick walls. Or tubas. Or poisonous snakes.

Anyway, Rachel wants dinner, so I'd better stop writing now!

Leaving Europe

(In which Brexit will not be discussed.)

Stevan: I think I understand why you don't want to leave Germany.
Me: Go on...
Stevan: Well, if we both know then there's no point in prattling on about it, is there?

So guess what I'm going to prattle on about?
But there's more to my pondering than just the obvious. Of course, like any person who lives somewhere for more than a few months, I've built myself a life here in Braunschweig, and leaving this, my first totally independent year, is not going to be easy. But I've known that for months. It's not just the fact that I'll be going home to a much more sheltered life that's getting me down.

In the last year I have, in one way or another, dealt with almost every serious life event. This year hasn't been simple by any means. I've come into contact with moving, making new friends, missing old friends, long distance relationships, language barriers, cultural barriers, starting a new job, moving away form friends, losing weight, commuting, fixing a bike, learning to bake for vegans, University Challenge, Americans, illness in the family, personal illness, inability to travel due to illness*, flight delays, dream jobs*, retirement*, graduation*, realising your dream job isn't*, operations*, important birthdays, writing a book, break ups*, Austria, totally seeing Jeff Lynne in concert like legit for real oh my gosh it was amazing, homesickness*, international travel, drunk people (Drunk Daniel is Best Daniel), enormous upheaval back home in the shape of most of my favourite lecturers leaving/being unceremoniously chucked from their jobs, missed dreams*, a pregnancy scare*, promotions*, marriage*, lost passport*, socks and sandals**, driving a Trabant, quitting smoking*, failing to quit smoking*, alcoholism*, Christmas dinner, growing plants*, insomnia, Buddhist monks, enormous political upheaval, Donald Trump*, musicals about being saved from a curse by leg warmers, Americans in vests*, stag/hen dos*, religion, Creepy Sauna Guy*, gender reassignment surgery*, beard(s)*, and really bad cups of tea.

In fact, the only life events I haven't really dealt with this year are births and deaths (thank goodness!)
So you see, a lot has happened in the last twelve months, and Braunschweig means a lot more to me than just friends and familiarity!

If you see anything I've missed in this list, I'd be very pleased to add it!

*not mine
**reeeeeeaaaaaaally not mine!!!!

A Problem Shared

Hello children. So you're back for more are you? I don't know why people keep reading this drivel, but I still enjoy writing it, so you're in luck. The pondering this week has mostly been based around my everyday life and those around me. Clearly this means that I've been pondering talking. And tea. But I don't think I could write a post about tea that anyone would willingly read.
You see, we're always told as children that a problem shared is a problem halved. But is it? What happens when the person you choose to share your problem with doesn't believe you? What if they can't solve the problem? Doesn't it just double someone else's problems? Or what if the solution they propose doesn't fit with your world view? Well, lucky for you I'm here to answer all the question you've never asked. With my own particular brand of opinionated drivel.

So let's take the first question. What if your problem is invisible? What if nobody believes the issues your having? Well, this is certainly an issue. If people can't see proof of a problem they might be unwilling to help, or they might try to convince you that nothing is wrong. This can lead to feeling like you've wasted people's time, and that your problem isn't actually a problem at all. Maybe it really is just in your head. Maybe it's not important enough to actually bother people with. Suddenly your problem is doubled, or so it seems. But why would anyone think that? If you're used to hearing things such as "Are you sure it's that bad?" or "I don't believe that's a problem," then you're not going to feel like anything is better. But maybe you've just chosen the wrong person to talk to for this problem. Find someone who believes you, or someone who will at least let you talk uninterrupted, I suppose. Last option would be a cat or something, I suppose. Maybe a tree?

OK, so you've found someone to talk to. Now what? What if they can't help you find a solution? Is there always an answer? No! Of course not! Life isn't like that, life just kind of goes off in all directions at once. But just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference to that; sometimes you can come up with ideas for the next move just by saying things out loud to another person, and sometimes they will have different ideas too. But even if you can't solve the problem between you, you've not lost anything by talking to someone, and often the small steps which can be taken to righting a wrong can't be seen from up close.
But look at what talking to someone achieves: you've reduced your stress levels, taken the baby steps and you may even have become closer to your confidante in the process. Well done you!

OK, so what now? You've talked about it, you're feeling better. Can your friend help you? Probably. Friends are good like that. But what if you don't like the answer you've been given? Well, certain arguments would suggest steaming ahead with your own plan anyway, unless you're actually going to die. Don't do that. But there is no requirement for you to listen to your friends. Anyway, who's to say your solution won't work? It's far better than having a list of "What Ifs". Sometimes you really do need to go with your gut.You can, of course, spitball all the ideas you have until you come to a compromise, but how likely is that to happen if one of you is far more invested in the issue than the other? Exactly.
But still discuss it, just in case dying really is a possibility and you've just overlooked it.

So, conclusion: Do I have one? Probably not. Do I ever have anything to say? Probably not. But my opinion is clear. TALK TO PEOPLE YOU SPANNER. If you're really having issues, of any kind, you need to talk to someone, just to make yourself more comfortable. Sometimes it just worth hearing the arguments you've had in your head out loud, so that you know how crazy you sound. Everyone needs the occasional reality check.

Thoughts on my Year Aborad

A couple of people have said that they think what I'm doing this year is really brave, or that they couldn't do it. This was never something that occurred to me, as a year abroad was part of my life plan since the age of 14 or so. But it got me thinking, nay pondering, the challenges I've actually faced this year.

To be honest, there haven't been that many that have really bothered me; obviously moving to somewhere you've never been to before and where you don't know anyone is not going to go smoothly, and there will always be difficulties and problems. But the most of these (starting a new job, moving into a new flat, speaking German all the time, and missing friends and family back home) have been manageable. The most difficult thing out of all of these was the constant German, but that got easier after a few months, and it hardly fries my brain at all now.

One of the problems that a lot of people...



Sorry, Daniel almost bought a boat. I got distracted.


One of the problems that a lot of people find when they start their year abroad is making new friends. However, I wasn't given the opportunity to be friendless, as I was so warmly welcomed to every single social event in the world ever. On my first day of work, I was invited to the cinema. A few days later, they did it again. When I moved into my new flat, my flatmate Meg introduced me to everyone and anyone she could find. The BdP (scouts) threw me into their leaders meetings and camps without a second thought, and I had to make friends from there. So you see, there was no chance of me ever being alone.

This didn't necessarily solve all my problems, however. As Matt, Daniel, or even Stevan will tell you, the biggest problem I've faced this year has been loneliness. I have amazing friends here in Braunschweig, and equally amazing friends back home in both Nottingham and Cuffley/whever they've ended up, but isolation has still been a problem. I've often felt like I have nobody to talk to about problems I've had, or even that I've not been able to tell people when I've been lonely.
Part of the problem is that I don't want to bother people. I don't want to waste their time when I know that they already spend a lot of time with me. But part of it is really that, after only a few months, you can't tell how close you are going to be with someone. What if I talked to the wrong person about what I was thinking and they thought I was being silly? What if I didn't end up staying friends with them long-term?

All of these thoughts are silly, but that's just how it was for me. Fortunately, I found a couple of people I knew I could trust, and I spoke to them. That doesn't mean I didn't annoy them or waste their time, but it means that I know I'd do the same for them. If I waste their time with my silly problems now, I and they both know that they can come to me with silly problems at a later time.

And I'm glad. Now I have excellent (if somewhat mad) friends and people that I know I'll keep in touch with well beyond the end of my few months here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're ever in that situation where you don't know if you should talk to someone or not, do it! There's no worse feeling in the world than loneliness, and nobody deserves to go through that. Give yourself a little bit of courage, and talk to someone. It can only make things better. :)

Strong Women and their Role in Film

Hello children. Welcome back. It shouldn't really be a surprise to you that I'm going completely off topic with this post. Daniel has been ill this weekend, so I've had to entertain myself. With this unexpected free time, I watched a lot of films. So I'm pondering the role of women in children's films.

Growing up, as everyone knows, I absolutely loved Disney (of course I still do!) But I always hear the criticism that "there are very few strong women in Disney films", and I have to say that, within the films I grew up with, I agree. You don't have to look very far to see evidence of weak women, who just want to please their fathers/husbands/boyfriends/anyone else who comes along. There's Snow White, who doesn't really even do anything, Sleeping Beauty (it's in the name, she literally falls asleep), Maid Marian in Robin Hood, Wendy and Tiger Lilly in Peter Pan. Even the Swan Princess. I know that isn't a Disney film, but it was one I watched quite a lot at one point. But she really didn't do a lot, except turn into a swan. She's the eponymous character and I can't even for the life of me remember her name, although I think it ends in "-ette". How's that for weak?

And you see what I mean. There are no strong women in that list; just some awkward racial stereotypes and some princesses who couldn't look after themselves. Snow White is the perfect example of this. She is the loving daughter, who does everything she's told. She can't defend herself from anything, including a tree the catches on her dress. She's so pretty that even a hired hitman can't bring himself to kill her. She looks after seven, incompetent men (that's another stereotype we'll talk about another time) by cooking and cleaning for them. It just puts forward this horrendous image of the good little girl who couldn't do anything for herself, except the housework.

And I know part of that is because it's a fairy tale which is (at least) as old as my dad, back from a time when young ladies did as they were told. And the other part is because it's a film from the thirties when women were still massively restricted in what they could do. 

But nowadays, these women (Snow White and the type) have such an enormous impact on young girls. I heard it described once as "Disney films do to women what pornography does to men." Whilst crude, this makes a fair point, I guess. Both provide unrealistic ideas on behaviour and relationships in all forms and for both parties. If you compare it in that way, the affect that Disney has on little children is somewhat scary.

But the thing is, strong women do exist in Disney. It's just that I was never introduced to them. Looking back at it this weekend, I realised that all the films I never saw as a child are the ones where the women do the most. Mulan, who literally goes away to fight for her country. Pocahontas, who tries to protect her family and her tribe from a force she doesn't fully understand. Megara (from Hercules) who, although she once sold her soul to Hades to be with a man, has learnt from her mistakes and now stands on her own feet. Esmerelda (Hunchback of Notre Dame), who fights for what she believes in, even if it means she is persecuted.* Then there's all the modern films which I just couldn't watch as a child because they didn't exist: Merida in Brave manages not to fall in love for an entire film, Anna and Elsa fight for each other and themselves in Frozen, even if they don't quite do what you'd expect, or even suggest, and Tiana in The Princess and the Frog (although she actually is a frog) also manages to work hard and do everything for herself - or at least try! You could even argue that Rapunzel is arguably up there too, as she stands up to Flynn/Eugene (having never even met anyone who wasn't her "mother" before) and later standing up to Goethel herself.

And even in the films I watched, the powerful women were never the protagonists. For example, look at Lilo and Stitch. Nani, Lilo's sister, is one of the most strong women in any Disney film in my humble opinion. Her parents have died, leaving her with a younger sister to look after while she herself is trying to succeed in life. She must only be a teenager. She works as much as she can, and still manages to be the best guardian Lilo could ask for. She even lets her feed the goldfish peanut butter!

And this is exactly what we need more of in Disney. There are so many films that have these strong characters in them that girls can look up to, they're just hidden behind a layer of flounce and looking gorgeous. Or they're pushed off to one side to make room for a cute yet gross alien. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have a child, you should try to expose them to women in as many different roles in film as possible. Show them powerful women, and weak women, women who can lead, and women who follow. Both boys and girls should learn that anyone can be anything - it doesn't matter whether you're male, female, or neither. You can be strong if you want to.



*I am fully aware that there are cultural misappropriation issues with some Disney films, including Mulan, Pocahontas and Lilo and Stitch. There is absolutely no way that I'm say that this is excusable or acceptable, but that is a matter for an entirely different post. The women in those films are still powerful and clever.