Learning Things

Evening all.
Being the nostalgic sausage that I am, I decided to look back on the things I learnt in 2015. And they're pretty much still useful a year on. With the odd adjustment here and there, they could easily be life tips. If what you wanted to do with your life was not annoy your housemates and avoid becoming Catholic.

But I've been pondering. Many of you will have seen my last post, claiming that I didn't learn much in 2016, and it's sadly true that there were no great revelations regarding pumpkin vampires, or locking the bathroom door. But did I learn anything in 2016 that contradicts what I learnt in 2015? Time to find out:


According to my flatmate, food (specifically a kebab) is better than sex
Said flatmate still believes this, as far as I know. The kebabs really weren't that good.

It's not the ringers that smell of the tower, it's the tower that smells of the ringersStill true.

Vegan cooking can be super easyThe key word here is can. It can also reeeeeaaaally easily go super wrong....

Lock the door when you're in the bath
Since learning this, nobody has walked in on me in the bathroom.
(I may have forgotten this once or twice, but Daniel is a gentleman, and still nobody has walked in on me in the bathroom...)

Tea and sympathy get you a long way
Just make sure it's the way you want to go.

If you reach the age of 30 in north Germany without getting married, you have to sweep the steps of the Rathaus until a young lady comes along and kisses you 
Well, we're going to find out this year, when Daniel turns 30...

"If it ends in 'e' it's probably 'die'" is a lie.
Still a lie.

If you lose one of your Beavers, they are probably in the tent
Still true.

You will get on better with your friends during a four day hike than you will ever in your life again. Ever.
I still get on better with these friends than I ever did previously. I think that working together like that makes it really easy to understand people. And everything we've done since then has been easy in comparison. So, I guess we're just stuck with each other for life now.

That's it I guess. Everything else on the list is either so obviously true it doesn't need repeating, or could possibly need reassessing in the future. But for now, I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie.
This is quite a short post, but I don't really have a lot to say. I just wanted to see whether I was still learning new things.



Emmatt update: Haven't done one of these in a while because there's very little to report. Matt and I are still together (3.5 years in February), and we're still making long distance work through a combination of phone calls, texting, and total, unquestioning trust. There's a plan in the pipeline to try and move in together once I've graduated, but money (as ever) is the key thing holding us back. And anyway, who knows what things will be like in six months' time?

Things I Didn't Learn In 2016

It's that time of year again when I usually write a list of comical things I have learnt in the past twelve months. Sadly, as we all know, 2016 was not the happiest of years, either nationally, internationally, or for me personally. So I'm afraid that, whilst I learnt a lot last year, writing it all into a blog post would not be very funny, or interesting to read.
My original plan was to write a vitriolic and aggressively ironic list of "things I didn't learn in 2016", to include things like "democracy works" and "people with beards have problems", but I thought that was still rather depressing, and unhealthy way to spend my time. Instead, I am going to summarise my year in songs. Some of them are great, some of them are terrible, and at least one is the Vengaboys. I'm not sorry. I'm also sparing no apology for the fact that this is another blog post about music; music is a massive part of my life, and I wouldn't be who I am without it. Equally, I measure a lot of things by songs, so I feel it's fitting.

January: Where Were You Last Night - The Travelling Wilburys
Apart from being a fantastic song, from a band I may have been a little obsessed with last year, it includes the lines "Where were you last year? You sure as hell weren't here". I find this highly appropriate for the entire of 2016, as I was on my year abroad. Arriving back in Braunschweig after spending Christmas at home was a strange feeling, but I was glad to be back. Equally, living in Braunschweig for less than a year in total meant that I only experienced each month once. Therefore, this song seemed incredibly fitting to describe a new year in a different country.

February: We Like To Party - The Vengaboys
I suppose I should finally explain this. In February 2016, Helen and I went to visit Jordan in Dusseldorf on Karneval weekend. This was accidental great planning on our part, and we had a fantastic weekend celebrating and watching National Treasure. But, of course, this was us, so it wasn't exactly a standard Karneval weekend. We spent most of the weekend in Jordan's room playing The Vengaboys at Helen every time she walked into the room. Naturally, we went out to party in the streets with everyone else (because "we like to party"), but it was mostly an excuse to see each other.

March: Poing - Rotterdam Termination Source
This is the most ridiculous song I was introduced to last year. I have included it for March, even though I first heard in June or July, because Daniel, James and I went to the Netherlands. After a few days in Amsterdam, Daniel left us to go home to his family for Easter, and James and I travelled on to Rotterdam. We met some lovely, but mad, people in our hostel and explored the city to the best of our ability. It was a fantastic weekend, and it was fun to spend time with people I like when we weren't fighting over whose turn it was to carry the shopping, or what colour trousers Gillian should wear.

April: The Battle Hymn of the Republic - William Steffe
"He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet, And he ain't gonna jump no mo-oo-oore." Or something like that. There needed to be a hymn in this list somewhere, because I have relied heavily on my relationship with God over the last twelve months; praying for everything from my family to the future of the world. I flew back to the UK for two different Queen's Scout Award ceremonies last April, including the parade for St George's Day at Windsor Castle, where we sang a heavily altered version of this. It was fantastic, but a massive disappointment as far as meeting famous people was concerned. Some old lady had her birthday that weekend, so lots of people were busy.

May: Vienna - Ultravox
Guess where I went in May?
Indeed, I did go to Austria with Jordan, and we did stay in the capital city. We went on the fantastically named Christi Himmelfahrt, which is another Bank Holiday that we don't have in England. Sadly, Helen got glandular fever/mono (HAHAHAHAHAAAAA) and couldn't come (sad). But Jordan and I still went and hung out with Emily who came back to Vienna to see us for the weekend. Spending time with people who have no expectations except having a bit of a moan about the state of the world and the poor module choices for fourth year was really enjoyable. And we didn't sing the Vengaboys for the entire weekend either, so not having Helen there was just the gift that kept on giving...

June: Just - Radiohead
Ugh.
I couldn't write a list of music that influenced 2016 without mentioning Radiohead, sadly. They had a new album out in the summer last year, which I am informed by a Radiohead fan (such things exist) is really good. Personally, I thought it sounded like sentimental teen rubbish. So instead of making anyone suffer through it, I am putting Just in this list, as it is half decent, and doesn't fade into the background of "meh" that tends to encompass Radiohead for me.
I apologise to anyone who actually likes Radiohead, but I am almost entirely indifferent to their music.

July: Over London Skies - Orchestra
"Another Goodbye Airport" faced me in July, as I moved out of my flat in Braunschweig for good, and left behind a life I truly miss. For a while, I thought my sentimentality was for a version of myself that couldn't be replicated, and friends I didn't want to lose. Six months down the line, I realise that neither of these is quite true. Life in Braunschweig allowed me to be a proper grown up for the first time, and I really did make some fantastic friends that I wish I could see more often. But I really do miss Germany. There are just some intrinsically German things that I wish I could get back to. I'll go back one day.

August: Ms Jackson - Outkast
Blame Matt. He is to blame for this terrible, terrible choice. And for the singing you've all had to endure since I came back to uni.
This song. Right. This song.
It's so funny if you sing the lyrics in the cartoon to the tune of the song. And if I were even a little bit sorry for singing "I AM FOUR EEEEELS" at all hours of the day to poor, unsuspecting Declan, then I would "apologise a trillion times" to my housemates, my neighbours, Matt and everyone else who's been subjected to this.

September: The Boys Are Back In Town -Thin Lizzy
OK, so number one, this is an amazing song. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably likes Radiohead. Lame.
Secondly, I came back to uni in November. It was great to see all my wonderful friends again, as well as Ute the Tutor and the other remaining German Department staff (of which there were about three.) I'd love to say that I felt at home coming back to Nottingham, as if I actually belong here. That would be a total lie. However, I do feel like this is my place. Nobody can make me feel like I don't belong here. I think it's just because I know the place so well. I have a right to be here.
Plus everyone got back from their years abroad at the same time. So, you know, "The boys are back in town".

October: California Man - Roy Wood
In October I met Roy Wood. I wrote about it on this blog, and it was really the highlight of the month. He was a very pleasant man, and he signed a copy of our painting. I wasn't sure which song to include from Roy, so I've included this one for two reasons. One: I am reclaiming it. Two: It's the opening to the set, as you can see in the video, and it really psyches the audience up for the rest of the show. Even though Roy himself is actually from Birmingham, you really feel like he means it when he sings. And sometimes you just have to think "I don't care if my legs start aching" and do it anyway! Plus, you know, amazing saxophones.

November: Heaven Can Wait - Meat Loaf

Same.

Matt is to blame for this one as well, I'm afraid. In November, Matt found out that the Bat Out Of Hell musical is on stage in the West End next year, so we're going to see it because I love Meat Loaf and Matt is the best boyfriend ever. The reason I have chosen this, rather than something like Paradise By The Dashboard Light or something is because November was quite difficult for me, and I listened to this song a lot. But I also went to Oxford and saw Alice and Ben and David, and that was awesome, because they are all clearly so happy, and that's such a lovely thing to see.
Another reason is that I look like (long-haired) Meat Loaf when I wear a suit sometimes. It's like we're soulmates. Except that he's American.

December: Rabbit - Chas N Dave
In December I saw Roy Wood in concert again. To be honest, it was a little boring, seeing the same set twice in two months. I went with Jordan, and I think both of us were more excited to see Chas and Dave, who were also performing live. Unfortunately, Chas and Dave only performed about three songs, which was not enough for us. But we still had a lovely time, and visited the Birmingham Christmas Market at the same time.

So that's it I guess. Obviously, there are more songs I could mention, but I don't want to.
Happy "new" year. I hope this has been more interesting that me grumbling on...

Leaving Europe

(In which Brexit will not be discussed.)

Stevan: I think I understand why you don't want to leave Germany.
Me: Go on...
Stevan: Well, if we both know then there's no point in prattling on about it, is there?

So guess what I'm going to prattle on about?
But there's more to my pondering than just the obvious. Of course, like any person who lives somewhere for more than a few months, I've built myself a life here in Braunschweig, and leaving this, my first totally independent year, is not going to be easy. But I've known that for months. It's not just the fact that I'll be going home to a much more sheltered life that's getting me down.

In the last year I have, in one way or another, dealt with almost every serious life event. This year hasn't been simple by any means. I've come into contact with moving, making new friends, missing old friends, long distance relationships, language barriers, cultural barriers, starting a new job, moving away form friends, losing weight, commuting, fixing a bike, learning to bake for vegans, University Challenge, Americans, illness in the family, personal illness, inability to travel due to illness*, flight delays, dream jobs*, retirement*, graduation*, realising your dream job isn't*, operations*, important birthdays, writing a book, break ups*, Austria, totally seeing Jeff Lynne in concert like legit for real oh my gosh it was amazing, homesickness*, international travel, drunk people (Drunk Daniel is Best Daniel), enormous upheaval back home in the shape of most of my favourite lecturers leaving/being unceremoniously chucked from their jobs, missed dreams*, a pregnancy scare*, promotions*, marriage*, lost passport*, socks and sandals**, driving a Trabant, quitting smoking*, failing to quit smoking*, alcoholism*, Christmas dinner, growing plants*, insomnia, Buddhist monks, enormous political upheaval, Donald Trump*, musicals about being saved from a curse by leg warmers, Americans in vests*, stag/hen dos*, religion, Creepy Sauna Guy*, gender reassignment surgery*, beard(s)*, and really bad cups of tea.

In fact, the only life events I haven't really dealt with this year are births and deaths (thank goodness!)
So you see, a lot has happened in the last twelve months, and Braunschweig means a lot more to me than just friends and familiarity!

If you see anything I've missed in this list, I'd be very pleased to add it!

*not mine
**reeeeeeaaaaaaally not mine!!!!

A Problem Shared

Hello children. So you're back for more are you? I don't know why people keep reading this drivel, but I still enjoy writing it, so you're in luck. The pondering this week has mostly been based around my everyday life and those around me. Clearly this means that I've been pondering talking. And tea. But I don't think I could write a post about tea that anyone would willingly read.
You see, we're always told as children that a problem shared is a problem halved. But is it? What happens when the person you choose to share your problem with doesn't believe you? What if they can't solve the problem? Doesn't it just double someone else's problems? Or what if the solution they propose doesn't fit with your world view? Well, lucky for you I'm here to answer all the question you've never asked. With my own particular brand of opinionated drivel.

So let's take the first question. What if your problem is invisible? What if nobody believes the issues your having? Well, this is certainly an issue. If people can't see proof of a problem they might be unwilling to help, or they might try to convince you that nothing is wrong. This can lead to feeling like you've wasted people's time, and that your problem isn't actually a problem at all. Maybe it really is just in your head. Maybe it's not important enough to actually bother people with. Suddenly your problem is doubled, or so it seems. But why would anyone think that? If you're used to hearing things such as "Are you sure it's that bad?" or "I don't believe that's a problem," then you're not going to feel like anything is better. But maybe you've just chosen the wrong person to talk to for this problem. Find someone who believes you, or someone who will at least let you talk uninterrupted, I suppose. Last option would be a cat or something, I suppose. Maybe a tree?

OK, so you've found someone to talk to. Now what? What if they can't help you find a solution? Is there always an answer? No! Of course not! Life isn't like that, life just kind of goes off in all directions at once. But just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference to that; sometimes you can come up with ideas for the next move just by saying things out loud to another person, and sometimes they will have different ideas too. But even if you can't solve the problem between you, you've not lost anything by talking to someone, and often the small steps which can be taken to righting a wrong can't be seen from up close.
But look at what talking to someone achieves: you've reduced your stress levels, taken the baby steps and you may even have become closer to your confidante in the process. Well done you!

OK, so what now? You've talked about it, you're feeling better. Can your friend help you? Probably. Friends are good like that. But what if you don't like the answer you've been given? Well, certain arguments would suggest steaming ahead with your own plan anyway, unless you're actually going to die. Don't do that. But there is no requirement for you to listen to your friends. Anyway, who's to say your solution won't work? It's far better than having a list of "What Ifs". Sometimes you really do need to go with your gut.You can, of course, spitball all the ideas you have until you come to a compromise, but how likely is that to happen if one of you is far more invested in the issue than the other? Exactly.
But still discuss it, just in case dying really is a possibility and you've just overlooked it.

So, conclusion: Do I have one? Probably not. Do I ever have anything to say? Probably not. But my opinion is clear. TALK TO PEOPLE YOU SPANNER. If you're really having issues, of any kind, you need to talk to someone, just to make yourself more comfortable. Sometimes it just worth hearing the arguments you've had in your head out loud, so that you know how crazy you sound. Everyone needs the occasional reality check.

Thoughts on my Year Aborad

A couple of people have said that they think what I'm doing this year is really brave, or that they couldn't do it. This was never something that occurred to me, as a year abroad was part of my life plan since the age of 14 or so. But it got me thinking, nay pondering, the challenges I've actually faced this year.

To be honest, there haven't been that many that have really bothered me; obviously moving to somewhere you've never been to before and where you don't know anyone is not going to go smoothly, and there will always be difficulties and problems. But the most of these (starting a new job, moving into a new flat, speaking German all the time, and missing friends and family back home) have been manageable. The most difficult thing out of all of these was the constant German, but that got easier after a few months, and it hardly fries my brain at all now.

One of the problems that a lot of people...



Sorry, Daniel almost bought a boat. I got distracted.


One of the problems that a lot of people find when they start their year abroad is making new friends. However, I wasn't given the opportunity to be friendless, as I was so warmly welcomed to every single social event in the world ever. On my first day of work, I was invited to the cinema. A few days later, they did it again. When I moved into my new flat, my flatmate Meg introduced me to everyone and anyone she could find. The BdP (scouts) threw me into their leaders meetings and camps without a second thought, and I had to make friends from there. So you see, there was no chance of me ever being alone.

This didn't necessarily solve all my problems, however. As Matt, Daniel, or even Stevan will tell you, the biggest problem I've faced this year has been loneliness. I have amazing friends here in Braunschweig, and equally amazing friends back home in both Nottingham and Cuffley/whever they've ended up, but isolation has still been a problem. I've often felt like I have nobody to talk to about problems I've had, or even that I've not been able to tell people when I've been lonely.
Part of the problem is that I don't want to bother people. I don't want to waste their time when I know that they already spend a lot of time with me. But part of it is really that, after only a few months, you can't tell how close you are going to be with someone. What if I talked to the wrong person about what I was thinking and they thought I was being silly? What if I didn't end up staying friends with them long-term?

All of these thoughts are silly, but that's just how it was for me. Fortunately, I found a couple of people I knew I could trust, and I spoke to them. That doesn't mean I didn't annoy them or waste their time, but it means that I know I'd do the same for them. If I waste their time with my silly problems now, I and they both know that they can come to me with silly problems at a later time.

And I'm glad. Now I have excellent (if somewhat mad) friends and people that I know I'll keep in touch with well beyond the end of my few months here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're ever in that situation where you don't know if you should talk to someone or not, do it! There's no worse feeling in the world than loneliness, and nobody deserves to go through that. Give yourself a little bit of courage, and talk to someone. It can only make things better. :)