Hello. These last few days I have been holding a competition of "Who can come up with the most inventive thing to do to a traitor?" with the Splorer girls (minus Sammi who doesn't know the person), therefore I have been pondering this. This is the list so far (Any personal details have been omitted, making them a little less funny, but I can't be seen to be offensive or bullying):
- Pull out his insides and stuff him with love and rainbows, making a giant teddy (Phoebe)
- Insert a Bible somewhere... private. (Emily)
- Shove a Crout inside him (confusingly) (Emily)
- Shave him. Then he'd completely malfunction. (Phoebe)
- Stand him up then knock him down. (Phoebe)
- Break him in half (Phoebe)
- Drown him in a barrel of water and ferment him, then he'd be beer (Phoebe)
- Roll him out, cut him out, flavour, bake in the oven at 210 degrees for 20 minutes, then he would be a Ginger Bread. (Phoebe)
- Mush him up and put him in a bakery oven, then he'd be bread (Emily, somewhat uninventively)
- Scrub him into your hair, then he'd be shampoo (Emily)
- Crumble him over apple crumble. (Emily/Miranda)
- Hollow him out and use him as a canoe (Liz)
- Fill him with jelly (Liz)
- Tap him with a wooden mallet (Becky)
- Lock him in a room with me and Liz. Let's watch what happens (Jess, somewhat rudely)
As you can see, it is quite disturbing how strange my wonderful friends are. Add to this the fact that Maria said she liked rearranging faces (we knew she was a good serial killer) and it is quite horrifying how my friends think. I'd better start keeping a closer eye on them, in case they decide to leave me in a hole to die or something. It has been threatened on many an occasion...
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