You Know You're Sad When...

Shalom, as Phoebe would say, my darlings. My ponderances since I last write have been minimal, although my working-ness has been much. Today I have been pondering how very, very sad I am. I really am very, very sad.

I thought to myself, as I cleaned my saxophone, wearing a shirt with a colourful message about Jesus after finishing playing music nobody had listened to and thinking about Scouts.

Yes, I am about six walking stereotypes.

So, here is a list of things which I, the Queen of Sad, have deemed "You know you're sad when..." If more than half apply to you, then you need to take a serious look at your life.

• You have never looked at a wall and thought "I could run through that!"
• Your one true love is a saxophone named Alfonz
• One of your top goals in life is to achieve the Silver Acorn
• You know what the Silver Acorn is
• Your best friend is a dog called Bertrandt
• You wish you had a dog called Bertrandt
• You are part of a society or organisation in which you have less than three friends and you only turn up for the free food and/or drink.
• You can recite the first chapter of the first Artemis Fowl book
• You read this blog regularly
• You write this blog regularly
• You watch more than 1 hour worth of programmes on "Dave" per day
• You watch more than 1 hour worth of YouTube videos per day
• You are overly pernickety about both spelling and grammar, especially on social network sites and in Greetings cards
• You know all the words to The Garo Song
• You've never been camping. No, PGL doesn't count. I mean PROPER camping
• You don't know what proper camping is
• You broke a goat