Top Twenty Things 2012 Has Taught Me

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
For me, 2012 was a year of many lessons, mostly (it felt) Chemistry, although I'm sure this is untrue. So here is my list of the Top Twenty Lessons I learnt in 2012, with the rude ones replaced by slightly less rude ones.

1.       ‘Yes’ means ‘no’ 
2.       Becky wants some 
3.       Friedel-Krafts reactions
4.       Get your baps out...
5.       Mayans do not understand the apocalypse
6.       The first rule of secrets is best friends don’t count
7.       I definitely do not like beer. Even if teachers tell you to drink it or go to bed
8.       It’s not a dance if it just looks like you’re trying to reach the bisquits
9.       Benzene
10.      Sunshine is a sexy hair colour
11.      Cigarettes taste of death (not from experience of either)
12.      Rice pudding cannot be substituted for the coconut cream in a Pina Colada 
13.      Pink shows Pip’s feminine side
14.      Nobody, not even Peter Hurrell, looks good in a mankini
15.      Schwaz has been added to Leila's phone dictionary
16.      There is nothing sexier than a man who can play ‘Chicken Run’ on the kazoo
17.      The noise bits of cow make falling on a tent
18.      It takes four trombonists to screw in a light bulb. One to hold the bulb and the others to drink until the room spins.
19.      Ice does not help the uncoordinated
20.      Pip’s Hot Brother, Pip’s Hot Brother, Does whatever Pip won’t do...

I hope your 2013 is a lot better than your 2012, regardless of how good 2012 was for you :)

Good luck and all that.

A Driving Ambition?

Welcome back, Internet Dwellers, to my cave of mystery. My name is Plato (not really) and I have many wonderful things to discuss with you. Or not. At all.
Today I am pondering driving, because I am terrified of it. And I thought I'd let y'all know.

So basically, whilst I am enjoying learning to drive and am looking forward to the day when it will be another skill I can claim I have, I am also worried that, every time I get behind the wheel of a car, I'm going to break/damage some poor, unsuspecting citizen. Or Jason.

Jason. No, sorry, that's Andre...

For those of you who don't know, Jason (Peter Andre) is my driving instructor. He is known as Peter Andre because that's who he reminds my parents of. (Sorry Jason, if you're reading this, but then again, I don't know why you would be. Actually, it's not exactly rude, so I'm not sure there's anything to apologise for apart from giving you/him a nickname that wasn't known about.)

Anyway. Driving is possibly the most scary thing I have ever done. Ever. Including Operation Saw which wasn't actually that scary, but involved beans. How can people do this on a daily basis? If you do it wrong, you die. Then you're dead. Forever.

Also, why did anyone ever invent the car? We would have no need for them if the buses and trains worked better; if we didn't have cars we'd be healthier because people would be more inclined to walk short journeys. Buses would run better because there'd be more need for them and less traffic and they'd cost less because there wouldn't be such a need to conserve petrol, lowering fuel prices.

Plus there would be far, far less pollution; cars produce more CO2 per person than any form of public transport, including planes and boats. Not having cars would reduce that, especially with things like commuting and school runs which often only have one or two people in the car anyway, whichis even worse.

Sorry, rant over. But basically, once I pass my test, I will not be driving very often if I can possibly help it.

P.S. I found out why Ashley's hair is now the colour of a banana wrapped in sunshine. If you don't know, then I'll leave the surprise for you to discover for yourselves.