My Meandering Brain

OK, this is hardly surprising for regular readers of my blog, but that last post seemed to go off at somewhat of a tangent. The post was meant to be about how everything is slowly sorting itself out in my life, not about how my life is complete now that I have a boyfriend and a job.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that just because I am now receiving a slightly higher income than 0p per month this does not mean that my life is now perfect. Furthermore, I am not suggesting that I or anyone else needs a job to be happy. Some work can make you happy and part of what makes my job so enjoyable is the people there (hence the huge tangent.) All I meant was that it is one less thing for me to worry about now and therefore one less thing to write about.

Likewise the boyfriend situation. Miss MacNeill and Sophie R,  if you are reading this I am not saying that a significant other is important for making one feel happy, merely that it's one less thing that I can moan about to all and sundry.

My real point was meant to be that things are finally picking up in my life where they have previously been points for me to complain incessantly about and that this might, in the long run, hail the end of my wonderful (under appreciated) blog. Even my weird and wonderful Uni crisis has sorted itself out; I am now going to study German at Nottingham, not what I originally planned, but I think it's the right choice. As My Grandad and Dad often say, everything happens for a reason.

Anyway, as you can see, this post is more accurate and on topic than my last post. Why does this always happen? And so, dear readers, I must be going now as the Land of Nod awaits. Much love and that x

The End of "Stuff..."?

Hello Internet folks, I am currently pondering a dilemma and I wonder if you can help. (Although, given your usual level of response to this blog, I am not holding out much hope!) It's not a big problem to be honest, quite the opposite, but it may mean the end of this blog forever...

You see, my problem is that I don't actually seem to have any problems right now.

I have a job which, although it's not the best job in the world, I'm earning money from. And sure, it's kind of boring and the pay's not as good as it could be, but any job which you can do with minimal qualifications will be boring and, given that I'm not entitled to minimum wage, I actually earn more than I would in a bar or in most shops. Plus everyone is really nice which, for me, is more important than the work itself. And it's not like I'm even just saying that; literally everyone is nice.

There's Graham, who works for "the agency" (dun dun duuuun) but is planing on going full time. Graham has been really nice to me since I started working there, but his jokes are awful! Then there's Dannii, who only works a couple of days a week, but is absolutely lovely and I always spend too much time talking to her because she's so interesting. Also prescanning is Caroline who, although she seems lovely, I haven't had much chance to get to know, but she's always so happy and smiley. In my recent job development, I've been working more closely with Mark (who wants to join the army) and Richard (who wants to be a Social Worker/Social Work teacher, but works doing whatever he can whilst he's waiting to get the job he wants.) Mark and Richard are both great guys, although they do sometimes talk a little loudly, especially about things which should probably not be repeated here. And the army. Then, of course, there's Chloe and Anya. When the Boss isn't around, Chloe and Anya effectively run the joint; they are in charge of all the admin, all the orders, paying everyone, running meetings and making sure everyone knows what's going on. They're amazing at what they do, even if I annoy them sometimes. Then there's Matt...

I think Matt deserves a paragraph to himself. As most of you will have seen, Matt is my fantastic new boyfriend. Yes, we are that nauseating couple. No, we don't mind. Yes, we know how awful we are, but it's OK because Becky, who is terrified of inter-personal relationships says we're not just that couple, because we're also funny together. Errr, yay?

So, as you see, there is nothing for me to write whiny blog posts about any more. Does this mean the end of "Stuff I Ponder"??!?!?!?!?!

Well, in a word, "no." Weird and wonderful stuff is still guaranteed to happen in my life; I'm still doing the scouting (we've got the Beach Weekend this weekend) and I'm about to head off to Uni, which should provide many an interesting story. Plus, with a boyfriend in tow, there'll even be someone to share it with!

P.S. Good luck Mark for today and tomorrow!

Exams (Yes, it's that time again...)

Dust off the revision guides and get out those massive (and incredibly cool now that hipsters are a thing)  reading glasses, it's revision time again! Yes, the time of year where we ponder the previously pondered is upon us. We all know what this means; it means that we should've all been relearning what we've already learnt before we've even learnt it since about February, because otherwise WE WILL ALL FAIL AND NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US EVER AGAIN!!!!!

Just me? Oh, OK then :)

For myself and my peers, this year holds a much greater threat than any other previous year. As Nicole said in RS the other day: "Before, if we did badly, we could just resit. Our pride would be hurt, but that's about all. Now, if we do badly, we don't get into university and the rest of our lives are ruined." Ok, so I don't agree with the ruined lives bit, but this is effectively true. Whilst there are some universities (apparently St Andrews is one of these) which prefer to offer places to people who have already secured their grades and have gained a little life experience, the fact that one is required to retake some A Levels does not sit well with many places of study. Plus, as my Dad points out on every available occaison "taking a gap year and traveling the world is one less year in which you could be earning." Unless you work through your accidental gap year (yay), but then again, who would want to employ someone who doesn't even have A Levels (or at least good A Levels) in this day and age?

Grade inflation has a lot to answer for.

Plus, if you do get a job during your gap year, it can only really be part time because, of course, you have to revise for those fabulous exams again. And this time is even more serious because there's no way you'd be considered for anything if you had to redo your A Levels twice.

Or maybe none of this is really a possibility and I'm just panicking because at my school we're all expected to be able to recite Pi to several thousand digits by the end of year seven.

Am I The Only One...?

OK, so Valentine's has been and gone (And I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for Oliver once again) and I'm pondering its aftermath. For some, obviously, their relationships have been strengthened and for others it's a beautiful beginning. For me, I always find Valentine's Day a little bit creepy.

I mean, I got a card from someone, who I'm still not convinced isn't my parents. But if it's not my parents, then I find it a bit creepy, to be honest. I can't really think of anyone who knows my address that would send me a card, which means that someone else went out of their way to obtain my address and send me a card. Am I the only one who finds that a little bit odd if this person isn't willing to tell me who they actually are? I would much rather that whoever this person is (providing it's not a joke or something) just told me if they like me.

Anyway, I found this picture the other day, then lost it, then found it again. And I thought you lovely people would like to see it because it made me smile. This is how I feel about people when I do things for them. Happy Valentine's Day, person.

Don't forget you can follow me on Twitter (or Tweeter as I saw it called today) at @EmPernilla and I sometimes say things. It can be quite nice.

Thanks :)

A Driving Ambition?

Welcome back, Internet Dwellers, to my cave of mystery. My name is Plato (not really) and I have many wonderful things to discuss with you. Or not. At all.
Today I am pondering driving, because I am terrified of it. And I thought I'd let y'all know.

So basically, whilst I am enjoying learning to drive and am looking forward to the day when it will be another skill I can claim I have, I am also worried that, every time I get behind the wheel of a car, I'm going to break/damage some poor, unsuspecting citizen. Or Jason.

Jason. No, sorry, that's Andre...

For those of you who don't know, Jason (Peter Andre) is my driving instructor. He is known as Peter Andre because that's who he reminds my parents of. (Sorry Jason, if you're reading this, but then again, I don't know why you would be. Actually, it's not exactly rude, so I'm not sure there's anything to apologise for apart from giving you/him a nickname that wasn't known about.)

Anyway. Driving is possibly the most scary thing I have ever done. Ever. Including Operation Saw which wasn't actually that scary, but involved beans. How can people do this on a daily basis? If you do it wrong, you die. Then you're dead. Forever.

Also, why did anyone ever invent the car? We would have no need for them if the buses and trains worked better; if we didn't have cars we'd be healthier because people would be more inclined to walk short journeys. Buses would run better because there'd be more need for them and less traffic and they'd cost less because there wouldn't be such a need to conserve petrol, lowering fuel prices.

Plus there would be far, far less pollution; cars produce more CO2 per person than any form of public transport, including planes and boats. Not having cars would reduce that, especially with things like commuting and school runs which often only have one or two people in the car anyway, whichis even worse.

Sorry, rant over. But basically, once I pass my test, I will not be driving very often if I can possibly help it.

P.S. I found out why Ashley's hair is now the colour of a banana wrapped in sunshine. If you don't know, then I'll leave the surprise for you to discover for yourselves.

Thought of... Ever.

Peter Hurrell should not, NOT be allowed to wear a mankini. Ever.

Please?

(No offence, we love you and all, but there are limits...)

Life Ambition

So, I woke up the other day and had what can only be described as an epiphany; I realised that the only thing I want to achieve in life is a happy ending. I know this sounds like a big ask, but think about it. I have, I've been pondering it...

There are only really a few ingredients to a happy ending; traditionally, you have to have a handsome Prince but, to be honest, I'm closer to expecting a reasonable-looking, vaguely articulate/educated man. Secondly, I think health is of the utmost importance; not necessarily meaning I want to be stick-thin and exercise a lot, just that I want to still be able to do all the regular things I do at the moment without needing a stairlift or whatever. And still understand what an apple is for, not in the William Tell sense. Thirdly, I just want to be happy; not in a superficial way, just happy. Able to do things that I want/like to do without persecution and just generally able to enjoy life as much as I have the chance to at the moment.

Finally, it's just the fairy story appeal, isn't it? To be brutally honest, my parents ruined me when they let me constantly watch Snow White when I was younger; I grew up believing that good things happened to good people and that everyone eventually found their perfect match, their handsome prince, and everything would turn out perfectly in the end. Unfortunately, the real world isn't actually as ideal as fairy stories made it seem, and sometimes horrible things happen to normal people who try to be good. That's just the way it is.

But I stand by my beliefs; some day my Prince will come. And I probably won't even notice when he does...

Coping with Stress

Hey sexy beasts (and Stanley). Today, for obvious reasons, My ponderings (ponderances? Ponders? Ponderations?) have been on stress, anger and how people deal with such things. What do people do to "release" themselves? I have some friends who work best under stress and don't like bing too relaxed around exam time. I have another friend who combats stress by doing more work, to prove she can. I have yet other friends who relieve their anguish by baking which is lovely, but means everyone I know will have diabetes and heart disease by the time they're 20, including me, but I was going that way anyway.

 

Other people do other things, such as trolling, dancing, sex, self-harm, knitting and a myriad of other, more socially acceptable things as stress-busting techniques. I, as always, have my own take on this. Personally, I do five things:

 

• Exercise; walk, cycle or cross train all my anger and stress away whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Mind puzzles; solitaire, Majong, crosswords (to which I today answered slut and moist in the same puzzle) and www.memrise.com whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Kick-arse power rock; sing, play, listen, annoy family with...
• Cry, shout, scream & get massively angry verbally. Usually at myself.
• Sleep. A lot.

 

These are all, I find, incredibly useful. As is eating, but I'm not allowed to do that any more :(
Another thing I do to stop from stressing/exploding is to change the topic of discussion, or what I'm thinking about. If I'm Stressed about exams, I'll think about saxophone music, or normal music, or about how awesome my life will be when all my exams are finished and I can finally do what I want. If I'm stressed about the future, or relationships (hahahahaha) or whatever, then thinking about work and upcoming projects is incredibly useful, or again thinking about music nc playing the saxophone keeps me from melting or something similar. If the stress is caused by an argument, I sleep.

 

Again, eating is also useful, but bad.

 

Comments?

Year 13 :S

This week, as the current Year Thirteens have been planning and executing their final scheduled days at Owen's, apparently not actually doing any work, I have started pondering what it'll be like for us next year. There are several things which are worrying me and these are what I want to write about today, not that anyone actually reads this (in pretendy posh accent) garbaaaarrrge.

Firstly that I'll end up not keeping in touch with people. Not just the important people (they know who they are, CBA to list them all), but less important people like Martha and Kelly (joke, I very love you much...). Seriously though, I saw the current year 13s saying goodbye to each other today and it became very real how far they'll be spreading out; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world. They're probably never going to see 190/200 of those people ever again, and as for anyone else they know at Owen's, well they'll almost definitely not keep in touch with them. That scares me. These people have been a MASSIVE part of my life for the last six years, not necessarily a good part most of them, but I've seen them practically every day for about 1/3 of my life. 


Clearly there are some people I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to see again (I'll leave that to the imagination), but there are so many great people at Owen's that I really want to keep in touch with, and I'm so scared that I'll never get to laugh at their failures (or oddly-sized shorts) again. That really scares me. I know I said that already, but it honestly does.


Secondly, what the hell should I have on the back of my leavers' hoody? I can't just have "Cracknell", that's boring. The only nicknames I have are "Crackpot", which has very negative connotations in some circles, and "Em Schmem", which only Alice calls me. Actually, that'd be pretty cool. Maybe I'll get that. OK, that problem's solved. Comments?

Finally, once I leave the safety of Owen's and the regularities of this life, I have to face the harsh truths of the real world. THAT is scary. I mean, I think my problems are pretty big at the moment, but they'll just get bigger once I leave this microcosm and join the actual rat race. The World's a big place, I don't know if I'm ready to be pat of it yet, and I'm pretty sure I won't be in a year's time either.

Sorry, offloading on the general public. not that anyone actually reads this shiz apart from Kelly, Martha and Misa, and they'll just be happy I've mentioned their names (Except Misa, who's probably on the run from the police....).