Useful Methodising Words And Addresses

GLOSSARY:
Methodising - The word my Dad uses for "Becoming a Member of the Church"

Minister - The person in charge in a Methodist church. In the Methodist Church system, the churches are joined up in circuits of about ten or so churches within a similar locality. Within a Methodist Circuit, each church has its own Minister, who would lead the service approximately once every month. The other weeks, we are visited by other ministers from within the circuit or by Lay-Preachers, who are volunteer preachers who maybe take one or two sevices a month at one or other of the churches. If this is still confusing, I'll draw you a diagram. (P.S. This is Inez)

Responsibilities of Chruch Members - Within the Methodist Church, there are people called Stewards, who are responsible for general maintainance of the Church's wellbeing. They greet everyone as they arrive and read out the notices and say a prayer before the Minister begins the real service. Another important role of the Steward is to say a quiet prayer with the Minister before the service in the Vestry*, thanking God that they are here and asking for guidance.

Vestry - A quiet room behind the main Church hall, kept for prayers and genarl organisation (in our Church it is where the photocopier is kept, plus anything we don't want to keep on public display [like the chocolate biscuits, and extra Bibles])


USEFUL WEBSITES:

www.methodist.org - The national website for the Methodist Chruch in Britain
http://www.goffsoakmethodistchurch.org.uk/Welcome.html - The website for Goffs' Oak Methodist Church; one of the most awesome places in the world ever.
http://www.springharvest.org/ - The Spring Harvest/Jesus Camp Homepage. If you have even an inkling that religion is not totally useless, you should definitely go to this at some point; it's such an amazing experience.
http://stuffiponder.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/jesus-camp-spring-harvest-2012.html - my Jesus Camp Blog post, from April 2012.

Becoming a Member

OK, today I have made a life decision, which I have been pondering for an astonishing, err, three days. (OK, I've been thinking about it for a while, but it became an actual idea a few Fridays ago - I should not be given free time.) I spoke to Inez, our Minister* at Church, over the summer and  have decided to become a Member of the Methodist Church, in a process my Dad has named "Methodising". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am being Methodised*.

The Official Methodising Process (but not) goes something like this: (Information c/o The Methodist Church In Britain Website*)

• "The Service of Confirmation and Reception into Membership includes two questions asked as an Affirmation of Faith: 'Do you turn away from evil and all that denies God?' and 'Do you turn to God, trusting in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, and in the Holy Spirit as Helper and Guide?' The answer to both questions is 'By the grace of God I do.'"
• "After confirmation and the reception, the newly-confirmed are asked to make three promises: 'Will you commit yourself to the Christian life of worship and service, and be open to the renewing power of God?', 'Will you seek the strength of God's Spirit as you accept the cost of following Jesus Christ in your daily life?' and 'Will you witness, by word and deed, to the good news of God in Christ, and so bring glory to God?'. The response to each of these is 'With God's help I will.'"

After this, I have to shake the hand of the Minister (Inez) and am welcomed into the Church. OK, that's the difficult bit out of the way, but every time I've told people about this so far, I have been asked what the difference is between Conformation and Becoming a Member. So I looked it up, and the Methodist website explains it very well. Basically, Confirmation is exactly that; confirming your belief in God and publicly reaffirming the promises made for/by you at your Baptism/Christening. Becoming a Member makes you a member of a specific Church and allows you to take on certain responsibilities within that Church*. I am becoming a Member at Goff's Oak Methodist Church*, where I have been attending services and activities for a very long time.

*See next post, a glossary and "Useful Websites" index.

Alice

Today for no apparent reason, apart from the fact she told me to, I am pondering Alice. She's really cool. She has, err, hair and a face. You know, a face. It's that lumpy thing that sits on the front of your head, next to the hairy bit....

Anyway, Alice.

She has quite a nice face, like a sort of white Cleopatra, but not as manipulative or evil, or with a really big nose. And she's got a really nice smile :-) And, errrr... It was fun to have her at the Bond Night last year, when she didn't get thrown in a paddling pool by a huge ginger. Unlike some people *ahem* Emily...

Martha thinks that Alice is "fantastical and incredibly clever and it's not fair"

Eduin thinks that Alice is "imaginative, cheery... Jonny Depp!!?!?!!?"

Leila thinks that Alice is "hot, good at English"

Alice thinks that Alice is "the pengalengalengalengalengiest". Ed disagrees...

Wer've just spent the last ten-twenty minutes, at Alice's request, trying to work out who we wanted to play us in the movie of our life. The list is as follows:

• Ed: Matt Damon, as he looks like him (and he's the pengalengalengalengalengiest)
• Eduin: Alan Rickman, or Hugh Laurie when Alice said he couldn't be Alan Rickman (as he was mean in "Love Actually"). I think Alan Rickman would be a wonderful Eduin. Hehehe, Eduin.
• Martha doesn't think Alan Rickman is vegan. If we are going by this criteria, we will be here forever trying to find someone who is an actor, and vegan, and awesome/hot enough to play Eduin.
• Martha suggests Paul McCartney.
• He is not an actor.
• Or hot enough to play Eduin.
• Alice: Probably Emma Stone, I don't know why.
• Martha: Kiera Knightley, as she has been told she looks like her. I think perhaps Jim Parsons, or even Morgan Freeman, would be a better choice.
• Martha suggests Miss Piggy.
• Leila: Jonny Depp, no questions asked :)
• Sophia: Probably... Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood, for those who [like me] weren't sure of the actor's name)
• As for me, we are torn between Whoopi Goldberg and Lisa Kudrow. Obviously neither of them look like me, but that is perhaps for the better.
• At a later date I have returned to this and I now suggest Neil Patrick Harris, as we have so much in common...

N.B. I think Liz should be played by Helena Bonham Carter in the movie of my life...

Jesus Camp (Spring Harvest) 2012

My pondering for the last week has pretty much all been about "Jesus Camp", which is what we nicknamed Spring Harvest. For those of you who have never heard of Jesus Camp, it's a gathering of roughly 7000 Christians, all together at Butlin's for one fun filled week. They run four of these throughout the Easter Holidays, three at Minehead and one at Skegness, so I was at the Skegness one, which was EPIC.

I have many things to say about this. Firstly, ONESIE!!!!!!!! This guy was a God. He wore the most AMAZING Onesie on several days of Jesus Camp, which led me to leaning out of our window of our apartment and shouting "Excuse me sir! In the Onesie! You look Excellent!" and my friend Adele yelling "Like a sexy baby grow!!" We thought, as any normal person would, that this would make him incredibly embarrassed and that he'd think we were freaks. But NO! This was Jesus Camp, therefore, we became friends with Onesie (who's actually called Will), who said we had actually helped him convince his friends that the Onesie (which wasn't his) had been a good idea. What a nice man...

Secondly, the amazing feeling that you got from the whole experience; everyone there was Christian (obviously) , which meant that you could talk openly about your faith and ask questions that my parents would complain about me asking at home, such as "What does a religious Experience actually feel like?" It also meant that you could trust everyone; if you left your bag somewhere, you could be pretty certain that it would still be there, complete with contents, when you returned. The other religious aspect of this was personal; I was able to truly find and know God through group prayer and other activities. I'm sorry for those of you who are non-believers, but I have come back from Skegness believing more strongly than ever that, even if the Bible isn't quite right all the time, there has to be a God who loves us and, in some way, created us and this Universe.

As many of you know, I have a thing for tents. Over the last week at Jesus Camp, I have discovered the Tabernacle. It is like the mother of all tents; bigger than a yurt and without the yaks. There are about six chapters of the book of Exodus designated to giving Moses the exact measurements and design for this tent of worship, including what the lamps should be made of and the size of the offertory box.

Finally, there are so many stories of Ice Cream men, Power Balls, Crazy Golf, hats, Ant and Dec and beehives that I can't even begin to tell you. Although I will quickly mention the Free Hugs, with which we somehow managed to raise more than £50 for children in Haiti. this was an excellent scheme and we made everyone feel better for it (especially when I shouted "You sir, you look like a man who likes a cuddle!" at an Emo). For anyone Christian who hasn't yet had this wonderful experience, or for those of you who are curious agnostics, I highly recommend, in fact I almost demand, that you go to Spring Harvest / Jesus Camp next year! It's a beautiful thing :)