Things I Just Don't Understand

Today I am pondering the un-understandable. This won't be a particularly long post because I don't want to steal the limelight from Herries, a guy I know (who I would call a friend, but might not extend me the same privilege) who writes a blog specifically on his topic. (You can find it at http://thingsthatijustdontunderstand.blogspot.com )

I am pondering his for the simple reason that it is the thing I spend the longest time thinking about when I should be doing other things, such as working or driving. For me, the main thing I don't understand is Chemistry, but that's boring, so we'll look at the second biggest thing I don't understand,which is how one person can be in love with another if they do not love them back.

This may seem a strange thing for an eighteen year old to ponder; people will be thinking "she doesn't know what she's on about, she's only young", but I don't mean me. I don't understand how someone can be in a position in a relationship where they are totally devoted (Grease reference not intended) to another person, only to find out that the other person doesn't love them at all, and may even be in another relationship behind their back.

I should point out that I do not have a specific example in mind here, I am thinking more generally about the way society is going and (to be honest) several chick flick story lines. The fact that you may have assumed I was talking about a particular example says more about the way you think of me than anything else.

The other thing I don't understand in that situation is how someone can think they're in love when they aren't; the idea of love consists of two people who are meant to be together, traditionally they're considered two parts of the same soul, but that idea is a bit outdated. How can it be, then, that one person can feel something that they think is love, but is not reciprocated by the person they have these feelings towards? Especially if the person has never experienced actual love. How on Earth is the human brain capable of making this sort of thing up with no previous experience.
This really is what I don't understand.

And it's what makes me think that souls exist.

Anyway, that's it really :) There are so many other things I don't understand, but I'll leave that to Herries because I've broken my keyboard.

If you wanted something interesting to read while I don't write for you (wow, fabulous English there, brain!) please check out 28 Dates Later - it's written by a guy called Willard who is trying to do twenty eight dates from dating sites without getting himself killed or further wounded in the process. He sounds like he could get on well with Mackers, to be perfectly honest...
Other blogs you could check out are Herries', as mentioned above, Mr Robinson's (one of my German teachers last year, he does an amazing linguistics blog) and Alice's literary blog, which I've mentioned on many-an-occasion :)

A Rediscovery

So hey, here I am again, just pottering around the contorted crevices of my brain and I've discovered and am now pondering the beautiful music of Tom Petty. I am, of course, already aware of his music; Highway Companion was actually my parents's highway companion for about a year, so every trip we went on, we would listen to it. What's more, he was also a member of The Traveling Wilburys, unquestionably the best supergroup in existence (except perhaps The Rockers, but that is an EPQ-worthy debate.)

First and foremost, Petty's voice is fantastic - it's quite rough and almost vulnerable, which makes the words of his songs so much more powerful to the listener. It's also a very distinctive voice which means that, especially in The Traveling Wilburys, his voice stands out from the likes of Roy Orbison and Jeff Lynne, whose voices are both very smooth and refined.

The second thing which makes Tom Petty's work so good are the amazing lyrics. Bob Dylan once called Tom Petty a poet, but he has always denied it. Personally, I agree with Dylan. I mean, look at this, for example:

Tried so hard to stand alone,
Struggled to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones;
I could never wear those clothes.

To me, those words (taken from 'Square One', from Highway Companion) are haunting and beautiful. But if you don't like that, how about this?:

So If I come to your door
Let me sleep on your floor,
I'll give you all I have and a little more.

That's the chorus to 'Down South', also from Highway Companion and not only is it some of the best writing for a song that I've ever heard (for me, it's up there with Don McLean's 'Vincent' and 'Mist On A Monday Morning' by Roy Wood) it's also something so wonderfully written that it wouldn't look out of place in an A-Level poetry analysis.

If anyone is interested, or keeping notes, I have also added Square One to my list of music which I would like at my funeral. I've posted link below, so you can see why. Also below is a link to a Web Page about some of the more well-known songs Petty has written. Thanks for reading :)



http://performingsongwriter.com/tom-petty-songs/

The Gay Marriage Proposal

Hello Internetty Folk! Today I am pondering how very strange society is. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Only a few days ago it was finally decided that homosexuals should have the same rights to get married as the rest of us "plebs" (the Government's word, not mine) which, to be honest, doesn't really make any sense to me.

I really can't see why people have such a problem with this whole shebang. If two people love each other and want to spend their lives together and never be with anyone else then it shouldn't matter who they are. And by that, I don't just mean whether they are both men or both women. Throughout history, similar problems to this have arisen, where some duke or other has given up his fortune and run away with the scullery maid, or a perfectly respectable white woman has fallen in love with a black man. Looking back at these so-called "scandals" even fifty years later, we can see that there's really nothing wrong with them, so why should homosexuality be any different?

To be honest, I struggle to comprehend why so many people have such an issue with all this stuff. If you believe that all love is just chemical reactions in the brain and nothing to do with emotions (which are, after all, merely triggered by the release of chemicals in the brain) then it shouldn't be an issue to you because it's all superficial and nothing more than a positive response to a person anyway. If you believe (as I am inclined to) that there is the perfect person out there for everyone and that we all have the potential to find our soul mate one day then does it really matter if somebody's soul mate is the same gender as them?

I know that many of you are now wondering whether I am about to announce that I actually support this so strongly because I am myself a lesbian. No, I'm not gay (and even if I was, I would not use this as a platform to 'come out') but it disturbs me that it matters as much as it does. As a very wise German (Mr Gaertner) once said "does it really make a difference?" Would it make you think differently of me if I were? If not, why does it matter?

I know by posting this that I have opened myself up to abuse from the ever-reasoning and all-knowing voice of the Internet, but I'm not sure it matters. This blog is here for me to tell you what I think, so I have.

What I Really Do...

This basically covers my ponderings for today...

A Brief Note

Dear All,

As you may be aware, Clive Dunn died on Tuesday.



For those of you who don't know (and you should be ashamed that you don't) Clive Dunn was an amazing actor who played Lance Corporal Jones in Dad's Army as well as gracing the musical charts with his song "Grandad", which is sublime. Really, it is. He also had a song called "I played the Spoons", but it's not as well-known. Although it is probably more epic than "Grandad".

Since I first watched Dad's Army, I really loved Clive Dunn; Jonesy is an amazing character and it must've taken a lot of skill to make it so believable. How could such an old character be played by such a young man? And, as everyone knows, his "DON'T PANIC!" approach to life was both practical and hilarious...

 

He has been an inspiration to many people of all ages and he will be dearly missed.



Choir, Singing and the Community of Music

Hey there, random folk of the Internet! Today, because it is a huge part of my life which I could not live without, I am pondering music. For those of you who don't know me, you should know how great my need for music is; if I don't go to band or choir or something, I'm usually singing. Or singing in my head. Or singing out loud and singing something else in my head (this, as I'm sure you can guess, has lead to some fantastic mash-ups...)

So, today I was at choir and, whilst Mr Werner was prancing about like a prancy thing (he is a beautiful man), I realised how much I love being there, in choir. We have all these little in-jokes, like the altos and their sexy E-flats and how diva-y the sopranos are meant to be (from experience, they're not really). Like many things, the Chamber Choir is like a kooky, awesome family and I'm really going to miss it when I leave next year.
By the way, that's true of all the other choirs too, but you really notice it in the Chamber Choir because it's so small and tight-knit.

Then there are bands... *Sigh* Where do I begin? Well, there's Bean Band (more formally known as Concert Band) which is, much as it pains me to say it, really good fun! Mr Bean doesn't realise how funny he is, and we often end up laughing at him being amazing. Then there's everyone else. They're all fabulous too, and (even if they do have tendencies to dye their hair canary yellow) I love them dearly. Some of them, like Hannah, Emma, Joanna, Lizzie etc. (that is by no means an extensive list) are far more used to my quirks and therefore pull faces at me during band, which is good for when it gets boring, or Ben has a solo... Like the choir, it's very close, especially after Belgium and we're sort of like the most dysfunctional (extended) family that has ever graced the Earth's surface. Apart from the Splorers, of course.

Finally, we come to Soul Band. Like every other musical activity I do, this is the highlight of my week. We are so close and, although there are meant to be only a few of us, there are twenty in the horns section alone. This makes us beautiful; even Ben. Even Tom. Even Ashley's hair.

Especially Ashley's hair. It's beautiful, despite its luminescent qualities.

Plus, Miss McNally is the most inspirational person I've ever met; she's actually taught me so much about life, entirely by accident and she lets me wear hats to rehearsals and concerts, which is awesome :) The Soul Band is a mad, laugh-a-minute comedy roadshow of a family and I love it more than anything I've ever done in my life. Ever.

Except perhaps Scouts. Although, nobody in the Scouts can play "Teddy Bear's Picnic" as an impromptu duet on trombones. That's gold.

So yeah, this is what I do with my life. It's beautiful and I wouldn't change it for the world, although next year I will have to. I'm going to miss it so much! If any of you are reading this, I love you guys!

Oh, and I finally found a vegan song (sort of). It's called "Save Me Now" and it's by Jeff Lynne. Give it a listen, it's beautiful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VChiKsQo534

Communication

Well, I'm back with a vengeance ladies and gentlemen!! I'd love to say it was because I've had nothing to do, but to be honest, I've had absolutely no time. So, whilst lots and lots of things have been happening, I haven't bothered to update y'all. I'm excited about my life at the moment and (although it is fairly standard, for me) I am very happy for my friends, whose lives are all picking up!

Anyway, there is something fairly major I'd like to whinge about/ponder today. Communication. There is one specific person, who will remain nameless, who does not reply to any message that I ever send him. Chances are, he won't read this, because I don't really matter. Thing is, he is a good friend and I see no reason why he wouldn't reply, he must just be lazy. Or I am bad at judging my friends. But it's sometimes quite important that we talk & organise things outside of school and he doesn't bother to reply, which is annoying.

On the other hand, there are some people who share every. Single. Detail of their lives with you. That gets annoying (oh, right). But seriously, those people who tweet or update Facebook every time they sneeze. It just gets really annoying. Really, really annoying. Yes, person I haven't seen for six years, it IS raining, well done!

Sorry, obviously I have a lot to moan about today and little interesting to say. I'll try and put something fun up in the next few days about Ross and his amazing, erm, hose. And our Death Match, that was epic. I came second! ;)
But seriously, Captain, if you read this (why would you?) It's be nice to actually be able to talk to you. Some of it's fairly important.

Becoming a Member

OK, today I have made a life decision, which I have been pondering for an astonishing, err, three days. (OK, I've been thinking about it for a while, but it became an actual idea a few Fridays ago - I should not be given free time.) I spoke to Inez, our Minister* at Church, over the summer and  have decided to become a Member of the Methodist Church, in a process my Dad has named "Methodising". Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am being Methodised*.

The Official Methodising Process (but not) goes something like this: (Information c/o The Methodist Church In Britain Website*)

• "The Service of Confirmation and Reception into Membership includes two questions asked as an Affirmation of Faith: 'Do you turn away from evil and all that denies God?' and 'Do you turn to God, trusting in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, and in the Holy Spirit as Helper and Guide?' The answer to both questions is 'By the grace of God I do.'"
• "After confirmation and the reception, the newly-confirmed are asked to make three promises: 'Will you commit yourself to the Christian life of worship and service, and be open to the renewing power of God?', 'Will you seek the strength of God's Spirit as you accept the cost of following Jesus Christ in your daily life?' and 'Will you witness, by word and deed, to the good news of God in Christ, and so bring glory to God?'. The response to each of these is 'With God's help I will.'"

After this, I have to shake the hand of the Minister (Inez) and am welcomed into the Church. OK, that's the difficult bit out of the way, but every time I've told people about this so far, I have been asked what the difference is between Conformation and Becoming a Member. So I looked it up, and the Methodist website explains it very well. Basically, Confirmation is exactly that; confirming your belief in God and publicly reaffirming the promises made for/by you at your Baptism/Christening. Becoming a Member makes you a member of a specific Church and allows you to take on certain responsibilities within that Church*. I am becoming a Member at Goff's Oak Methodist Church*, where I have been attending services and activities for a very long time.

*See next post, a glossary and "Useful Websites" index.

Olympic Fever 2012

As I cannot escape it, I've decided to ponder it. Olympic fever is, of course, sweeping the nation (as well as many other nations). How unsurprising is it that Britain has only won two golds so far? The answer is: not very. I am, however, very pleased to announce that Germany (my favourite country in the world ever, except perhaps Armenia) is sixth in the medal tables with three gold, seven silver and two bronze medals so far. Armenia, unfortunately, has won nothing so far, but seeing as their only athletes are Garo and his mother, this is hardly surprising.

Surprisingly enough, North Korea is currently beating South Korea, having won twice as many medals as the latter. Unsurprisingly, both of them are beating Team GB. Who are quite useless. Apart from the women's rowing pair (Helen Glover and Heather Stanning) and to Bradley Wiggins - well done you! :)

And, amazingly, France is third in the tables - wow!

And all that gubbins about "Having the Olympics in London will be really good for the economy and it'll more than cancel out all the spending the country's done in making the Olympics happen" is absolute rubbish! Spending in London has actually decreased since the Olympics started because the Government and TFL have been telling people not to travel into London because of the enormous strain on the public transport all these extra people will have. And as for those extra people in London, well, they're not doing things like going to shows because, well, think about it. They've been out all day in the East End of London watching sport; they're not really going to want to travel to the West End in the evening and spend several more hours sitting down, just to watch a show, are they?

Germany just won another silver, showing how quickly all this could change. So, before I'm shown to be hideously wrong about how bad Team GB are, I'm going to shut up.

By the way, here's some shameless plugging:

http://lorolocuaz.wordpress.com/ --> The best language-related blog written by one of my teachers I've ever read (seriously though, food for thought; it's awesome)

http://mingledyarns.wordpress.com/ --> If you like literary blogs, and who doesn't, then this is definitely worth a read. Or several. My amazing friend Alice has written this blog detailing books she's read and her opinions. Both of which (the books and the opinions) are well-written and fascinating (usually - some of the books are questionable)

http://shirleynomates.blogspot.com -->This blog is probably about as pointful as mine (i.e. not very) but it's still interesting to know what goes on inside Emily's tiny head. Some of it makes no sense, but the interpreting is part of the fun (see first link, above)

Much love xx

Thought of... Ever.

Peter Hurrell should not, NOT be allowed to wear a mankini. Ever.

Please?

(No offence, we love you and all, but there are limits...)

Team Saxophone!

OK, this time, at the request of Hannah, I have been pondering Team Saxophone. I have to keep it civil, just in case any of them read it (just kidding) - but to be honest, I don't see why they would. Team Saxophone, for those of you who don't know, is a group of seven "epic" people, who all play the saxophone in Concert Band (probably as a punishment for something bad they did in a former life...). It's pretty cool, we've all become some sort of warped and confused family over the last two years, since Hannah, Ben Vize and I joined.

Over the years, we've had several "wonderful ideas" of things we could do as team bonding activities; these have included, but aren't limited to, a team trip to Legoland, a team trip to Cadbury World, a team Christmas Dinner and a Team Saxophone room on the Concert Band tour (this last one was Hannah's idea - unfortunately, because Ben is a boy, we couldn't make this work :-( ).

It occurs to me that I should probably introduce the members of the team at this stage; well, there's Holly and Ben, who plays first alto (I think), Rosalind and Ellen who play second alto (again, I think - I can't see who's playing what from where I sit on the end of the row). Then there's Bethan and Hannah who play tenor; recently though, this seems to have diminished to just Hannah as Bethan has been on study leave and so hasn't been to many rehearsals. And then there's me, stuck on the end (almost falling off the stage) with my Bari. So, all in all, not too bad.

One of our most long-lived rituals as a section is "The Saxophone Shotgun". This involves the entire Team saying "Shotgun" really quickly after we've finished playing the last piece and the last one to say it has to put away all the chairs, stands and music. Unfortunately, as I am on the end, it is not always registered when I say it, because nobody can hear. Oh well, Ben's always last anyway. (N.B. Ben seems to be of the opinion that normal rules do not apply to him and he doesn't have to bother. They do and he does...)


So yeah, that's Team Saxophone, they're pretty cool. So, further reading time! As I've already said, my friend Emily now has a blog. It seems to be getting more and more like mine whenever I read it, so if you like this, you'll like that...
http://shirleynomates.blogspot.com
Also, my German teacher (and possibly favourite person in the whole world) Mr Robinson now also has a blog. It is really interesting and I highly reccomend it to anyone who... Well, just to anyone!!
http://lorolocuaz.wordpress.com/
And, as always, if you like this, you can follow me on Twitter; @EmPernilla, probably.

Life Ambition

So, I woke up the other day and had what can only be described as an epiphany; I realised that the only thing I want to achieve in life is a happy ending. I know this sounds like a big ask, but think about it. I have, I've been pondering it...

There are only really a few ingredients to a happy ending; traditionally, you have to have a handsome Prince but, to be honest, I'm closer to expecting a reasonable-looking, vaguely articulate/educated man. Secondly, I think health is of the utmost importance; not necessarily meaning I want to be stick-thin and exercise a lot, just that I want to still be able to do all the regular things I do at the moment without needing a stairlift or whatever. And still understand what an apple is for, not in the William Tell sense. Thirdly, I just want to be happy; not in a superficial way, just happy. Able to do things that I want/like to do without persecution and just generally able to enjoy life as much as I have the chance to at the moment.

Finally, it's just the fairy story appeal, isn't it? To be brutally honest, my parents ruined me when they let me constantly watch Snow White when I was younger; I grew up believing that good things happened to good people and that everyone eventually found their perfect match, their handsome prince, and everything would turn out perfectly in the end. Unfortunately, the real world isn't actually as ideal as fairy stories made it seem, and sometimes horrible things happen to normal people who try to be good. That's just the way it is.

But I stand by my beliefs; some day my Prince will come. And I probably won't even notice when he does...

Alice

Today for no apparent reason, apart from the fact she told me to, I am pondering Alice. She's really cool. She has, err, hair and a face. You know, a face. It's that lumpy thing that sits on the front of your head, next to the hairy bit....

Anyway, Alice.

She has quite a nice face, like a sort of white Cleopatra, but not as manipulative or evil, or with a really big nose. And she's got a really nice smile :-) And, errrr... It was fun to have her at the Bond Night last year, when she didn't get thrown in a paddling pool by a huge ginger. Unlike some people *ahem* Emily...

Martha thinks that Alice is "fantastical and incredibly clever and it's not fair"

Eduin thinks that Alice is "imaginative, cheery... Jonny Depp!!?!?!!?"

Leila thinks that Alice is "hot, good at English"

Alice thinks that Alice is "the pengalengalengalengalengiest". Ed disagrees...

Wer've just spent the last ten-twenty minutes, at Alice's request, trying to work out who we wanted to play us in the movie of our life. The list is as follows:

• Ed: Matt Damon, as he looks like him (and he's the pengalengalengalengalengiest)
• Eduin: Alan Rickman, or Hugh Laurie when Alice said he couldn't be Alan Rickman (as he was mean in "Love Actually"). I think Alan Rickman would be a wonderful Eduin. Hehehe, Eduin.
• Martha doesn't think Alan Rickman is vegan. If we are going by this criteria, we will be here forever trying to find someone who is an actor, and vegan, and awesome/hot enough to play Eduin.
• Martha suggests Paul McCartney.
• He is not an actor.
• Or hot enough to play Eduin.
• Alice: Probably Emma Stone, I don't know why.
• Martha: Kiera Knightley, as she has been told she looks like her. I think perhaps Jim Parsons, or even Morgan Freeman, would be a better choice.
• Martha suggests Miss Piggy.
• Leila: Jonny Depp, no questions asked :)
• Sophia: Probably... Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood, for those who [like me] weren't sure of the actor's name)
• As for me, we are torn between Whoopi Goldberg and Lisa Kudrow. Obviously neither of them look like me, but that is perhaps for the better.
• At a later date I have returned to this and I now suggest Neil Patrick Harris, as we have so much in common...

N.B. I think Liz should be played by Helena Bonham Carter in the movie of my life...

Computer Games

Hello All (I got told off for writing "sexy beasts" last time). How are we today? Sorry I haven't updated in a while, real life took control :(
I have been pondering computer games today for a reason which will become apparent; this evening, James (my brother) and I are at a friend's house because my parents are "sociable" and the boys I am with are intent on playing computer games all night. Which is fascinating. Except that one of them thinks anything we do is boring (but can't come up with anything better to do - genius that).

Computer games were, it appears, invented by nerds for nerds without girlfriends or the entrepreneurial skills to invent their own computer games. Or those who are bored inventing computer games and just want a break. The are the most colossal waste of time and don't do anything for any form of personal skills. Just ask my brother.

This can also be said for most of the videos on YouTube (you tube). Who cares whether or not a cat can say "no no no no no no" for a minute and a half, or whether a baby looks scared at the camera? Apparently, Russell Howard and some more nerds, who got RSI from their computer games. Actually,  there are some pretty good videos out there, such as the "Urban Sports" series and the video I will be uploading later tonight, or tomorrow, of our neighbours singing "Sweet Caroline" very excitedly at yesterday's street party.
And little clips from film and TV can be funny too.

Comments?

Coping with Stress

Hey sexy beasts (and Stanley). Today, for obvious reasons, My ponderings (ponderances? Ponders? Ponderations?) have been on stress, anger and how people deal with such things. What do people do to "release" themselves? I have some friends who work best under stress and don't like bing too relaxed around exam time. I have another friend who combats stress by doing more work, to prove she can. I have yet other friends who relieve their anguish by baking which is lovely, but means everyone I know will have diabetes and heart disease by the time they're 20, including me, but I was going that way anyway.

 

Other people do other things, such as trolling, dancing, sex, self-harm, knitting and a myriad of other, more socially acceptable things as stress-busting techniques. I, as always, have my own take on this. Personally, I do five things:

 

• Exercise; walk, cycle or cross train all my anger and stress away whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Mind puzzles; solitaire, Majong, crosswords (to which I today answered slut and moist in the same puzzle) and www.memrise.com whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Kick-arse power rock; sing, play, listen, annoy family with...
• Cry, shout, scream & get massively angry verbally. Usually at myself.
• Sleep. A lot.

 

These are all, I find, incredibly useful. As is eating, but I'm not allowed to do that any more :(
Another thing I do to stop from stressing/exploding is to change the topic of discussion, or what I'm thinking about. If I'm Stressed about exams, I'll think about saxophone music, or normal music, or about how awesome my life will be when all my exams are finished and I can finally do what I want. If I'm stressed about the future, or relationships (hahahahaha) or whatever, then thinking about work and upcoming projects is incredibly useful, or again thinking about music nc playing the saxophone keeps me from melting or something similar. If the stress is caused by an argument, I sleep.

 

Again, eating is also useful, but bad.

 

Comments?

Sexism

I have been feeling self-righteous today and pondering why men feel we're worse at everything than they are. Today I have seen at least six television adverts about how weak and pathetic women are and it's beginning to annoy me; any of you who know me at all will know that I don't take kindly to sexism against either men or women, especially if it's not meant as a joke, clearly.

I can take a joke by the way, I'm not a complete stick in the mud. Although when Andrew's involved I always pretend to be pissed because it means I always have him at my mercy...

I guess most of you have seen the recent internet and newspaper campaign in which the woman found a label in her husband's jeans saying something like "Washing Instructions: get your woman to do it, it's her job!" Now, if that had been a jokey advertising campaign, such as that used by McCoys crisps or Yorkie bar, which actually encourages women to buy it because they feel "rebellious" or whatever (personally I buy them because they're nice) it'd be fine, I have no problem with that. But hidden inside a pair of jeans? That's got to be a serious message, surely?

Anyway, what I'm saying is that sexism isn't really "fine" but there are clearly some forms we are willing to overlook, such as humour and flattery ("You're a guy, you must be big and strong" etc.) and I have no plans to turn into a raving feminist like Mackers, but come on people, think before you take the p-hizzle.

Thankee

An Apology

I have been asked to point out that Oliver is not the only person to read this, Misa does too....

She sent me this photo: Who is that person? They don't look half bad...

<--- Apart from this one!

Surprisingly, I like some of these. Which, for me, is hilarious... The middle one is just too sexy.

What Am I?

As you can see, my ponderances this week have been mostly philosophical, on a personal level. I have been trying to decide what I am, based on what I know and what had been said about me in the past.

Well, to start with, I'm a girl, although some people say I'm now a woman (hahaha), and Mr Bean (bless 'im) called me a "lady". But I'll stick to girl. According to one person, I'm "a lovely girl with a special personality", but, as someone else said, I'm a "weirdo". They're probably just two ways of saying the same thing...

I'm a rocker, a student, a tea-totalist (shhh, it's a thing...) and a member of a generation which is in the process of ruining the planet for all those who come after us, whilst trying to clear up the mess left behind by the last lot. I've been labelled an anarchist, a communist and fascist (all in the same conversation, by the same person), but only the first two of these are true.

I'm sober, legal, underage, overage, conscientious, stressed, overworked, underworked, tired and confused. I'm a Scout and a Guide (please don't take offence Martha, I did it alphabetically) and I always will be. Apparently, I'm a "musician", but I have very little sense of rhythm, I'm an alto in most of the choirs, I'm the only girl in the school Soul Band who's not a singer and I'm the only person in the school crazy enough to own a barington (baritone) saxophone.

According to recent surveys - or some other unreliable source - I'm broken-hearted, which I suppose answers the question "What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?"; they write stupid blogs nobody except Oliver cares about. I'm used and abused, forgotten, remembered, lead, followed, thanked, ignored, asked and answered, Armenian (but not really, it just sounded good. I like alliteration) and apparently, I'm opinionated, but I think otherwise...

I'm a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter and a cousin to name but a few. I'm also - hopefully - a friend, I very love you all much, and a provider of Vegan Cake twice a term for my RS Class ( It's you guys).

I'm many other things too; in the depths of the internet somewhere I'm a little teapot, but the less said about that, the better. Seeing as this post is one of the longest yet, we can also assume I'm quite arrogant, but I promise I'm not usually. I'd write a post about my friends, but I'm sure I'd miss someone out, so I'll play it safe and not... None of this really answers the question, but it's a start. If you feel like if (If anyone's reading this) you can comment with stuff that you are and I can agree / disagree as I see fit.

Jesus Camp (Spring Harvest) 2012

My pondering for the last week has pretty much all been about "Jesus Camp", which is what we nicknamed Spring Harvest. For those of you who have never heard of Jesus Camp, it's a gathering of roughly 7000 Christians, all together at Butlin's for one fun filled week. They run four of these throughout the Easter Holidays, three at Minehead and one at Skegness, so I was at the Skegness one, which was EPIC.

I have many things to say about this. Firstly, ONESIE!!!!!!!! This guy was a God. He wore the most AMAZING Onesie on several days of Jesus Camp, which led me to leaning out of our window of our apartment and shouting "Excuse me sir! In the Onesie! You look Excellent!" and my friend Adele yelling "Like a sexy baby grow!!" We thought, as any normal person would, that this would make him incredibly embarrassed and that he'd think we were freaks. But NO! This was Jesus Camp, therefore, we became friends with Onesie (who's actually called Will), who said we had actually helped him convince his friends that the Onesie (which wasn't his) had been a good idea. What a nice man...

Secondly, the amazing feeling that you got from the whole experience; everyone there was Christian (obviously) , which meant that you could talk openly about your faith and ask questions that my parents would complain about me asking at home, such as "What does a religious Experience actually feel like?" It also meant that you could trust everyone; if you left your bag somewhere, you could be pretty certain that it would still be there, complete with contents, when you returned. The other religious aspect of this was personal; I was able to truly find and know God through group prayer and other activities. I'm sorry for those of you who are non-believers, but I have come back from Skegness believing more strongly than ever that, even if the Bible isn't quite right all the time, there has to be a God who loves us and, in some way, created us and this Universe.

As many of you know, I have a thing for tents. Over the last week at Jesus Camp, I have discovered the Tabernacle. It is like the mother of all tents; bigger than a yurt and without the yaks. There are about six chapters of the book of Exodus designated to giving Moses the exact measurements and design for this tent of worship, including what the lamps should be made of and the size of the offertory box.

Finally, there are so many stories of Ice Cream men, Power Balls, Crazy Golf, hats, Ant and Dec and beehives that I can't even begin to tell you. Although I will quickly mention the Free Hugs, with which we somehow managed to raise more than £50 for children in Haiti. this was an excellent scheme and we made everyone feel better for it (especially when I shouted "You sir, you look like a man who likes a cuddle!" at an Emo). For anyone Christian who hasn't yet had this wonderful experience, or for those of you who are curious agnostics, I highly recommend, in fact I almost demand, that you go to Spring Harvest / Jesus Camp next year! It's a beautiful thing :)

You Tube

Hello again,

Today I have pondered why on Earth do people put videos of themselves doing funny things on You Tube?? I mean, look at these fools for example; they look so stupid...

Why would you do this?

(That's clearly not me shouting "Do it again!" on this one)

It's ridiculous that people would allow themselves to be filmed and have these funny videos put up on the internet for the world to see. I mean, honestly. And clearly I'm not the cameraman and the person who put them up on the internet or anything...

Sorry. This post had nothing to do with anything, but you chose to read it. It's not my fault.