Top Ten Songs which are good, but have the craziest lyrics you've ever heard in your life.

Good day, Internet, how are we this fine morning? ... Yes ... Really? .... Oh, that's good! I'm pleased to hear that. Today's ponderance stems from the increased amount of time I've spent listening to my iPod recently; I apparently know a lot of songs with crazy lyrics. I mean, I think it's great, but you can't walk down the road singing "From meths and gin I feel the sin, like wheels upon my feet." (Name that tune?) So I've made a list. It's a top ten, inasmuch as there are ten things on it. They're not really in a proper order, it's just the order I thought of them in.

[SIDEBAR: I wanted to include Ein Kompliment by Sportfreunde Stiller in this list, but I didn't because most of my readers are English speaking (as a first language), and I didn't think they'd understand "Wenn man so willst bist du... mein Süßigkeitswahrabteilung im Supermarkt", even though it's one of the most excellent lyrics ever. (Englishers, it means "You are my confectionary aisle in the Supermarket", of course... Just in case you couldn't guess!) /END SIDEBAR]

So here we go:

1. Abdul Abulbul Amir
          Performed by: Frank Crumit (originally)
          Describe it in five words: Blokes fight, listen really carefully.
          Short Synopsis: This is a song about two men, one from Russia and one from somewhere else, who bump into each other in the street (literally) and then set about fighting. As you do. As this song is a story, I won't ruin the end, but the guys' names alone are worth listening to this song for.
          Favourite Line: "By this I imply you are going to die, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar!" (How else is your opponent to know that you're trash talking them?)
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7GgmOdHDog (I prefer the Peter Skellern Version, so I've posted that, it's just not the original.)
           See also: I'm a Pink Toothbrush by Max Bygraves. It's a similar children's story theme.

2. Wilbury Twist
          Performed by: The Travelling Wilburys
          Describe it in five words: Brand new dance to learn.
          Short Synopsis: It really is just a set of instructions for a dance. It's on this list because I think you might end up in hospital if you followed them all. Twice.
          Favourite Line: "It could be years before you're missed, Everybody's trying to do the Wilbury Twist." (Anything else would give it away.)
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjSmgSdFASk (with lyrics, so you can follow the  moves easily!)
          See also: Dirty World by the Travelling Wilburys. I've never been embarrassed by the words "red bell peppers" before.

3. Leap Up and Down (wave your knickers in the air)
          Performed by: St Cecilia
          Describe it in five words: Seriously, try it some time.
          Short Synopsis: A shy girl is looking for a way to attract herself a gentleman. She comes up with a novel way to do it. It's only recommended in the summer.
          Favourite line: "Leap up and down, wave your knickers in the air!" (duh!)
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoDZbZfnG7c (I can't find anything better, but you can hear the words.)

          See also: Tiger Feet by Mud. It's kind of similar. And whoever heard of someone having the feet of a big cat?

4. Nice Legs, Shame About the Face
          Performed by: The Monks
          Describe it in five words: Expected misogyny, but pleasantly surprised.
          Short Synopsis: The singer goes on a blind date with a girl his friend says is good looking. He is disappointed by the outcome. Again, this one is a nice story, so I won't spoil the ending.
          Favourite line: "Nice legs, shame about the boat race."
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgKv-6Yyd2g
          See also: Saturday Gigs by Mott the Hoople. Vaguely similar topic matter? They both cover going out?

5. Reasons to be Cheerful (pt. 3)
          Performed by: Ian Dury and the Blockheads
          Describe it in five words: "Whydoncha get back into bed?"
          Short Synopsis: A list of things that make the singer cheerful. They range wildly between the everyday and the extraordinary.
          Favourite line: "Saying okey-dokey, sing-a-long a Smokie, Coming outta chokey" (anyone who's ever sang along with Smokey will probably know why.)
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcjh1a9Yoao  *LANGUAGE WARNING*
          See also: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Equally weird lyrics, just fewer of them.

6. The Myths and Legends of King Merton Womble and his Journey to the Centre of the Earth
          Performed by: The Wombles
          Describe it in five words: The longest title ever (possibly).
          Short Synopsis: It's another story. This one is about the great and glorious King Merton Womble and his quest to have a picnic at the centre of the Earth. Casual. I won't ruin the ending.
          Favourite line: "I wonder if ever a Womble king put down his tidy bag and extricated from a stone the sword Exscallywag."
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKWH9EP1MoU
          See also: Anything by the Wombles. All their songs have excellent stories to them. I particularly like Wombling White Tie and Tails.

7. Jilted John
          Performed by: Jilted John
          Describe it in five words: "Gordon is a moron." Well...
          Short Synopsis: The terribly sad tale of  poor John who is chucked by his girl Julie in favour of a gentleman called Gordon, of whom the singer does not approve. Poor Gordon.
          Favourite line: "I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop."
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN45OjB-cCU (Looks like nobody told him you're meant to mime on TOTP.)
          See also: You Broke My Heart by the Lovebites. One of my all-time favourite songs not written by Roy Wood. Teenage heartbreak and electric guitars. Why the heck not?

8. The Funky Gibbon
          Performed by: The Goodies
          Describe it in five words: Bill Oddie was a popstar?
          Short Synopsis: There's not a lot more to say about this. Another dance song, this time by the Goodies. How to dance like a gibbon.
          Favourite line: "Drop one arm down by your knees, let the other arm reach up to the trees."
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXq8rELhUkw (Ignore Steve Wright. He thinks he's funny.)
          See also: Walking the Dog by Rufus Thomas. A soul classic which teaches you to dance like you're walking a dog.

9. Cherry Blossom Clinic (Revisited)
          Performed by: The Move
          Describe it in five words: Mental Asylum. More tea, vicar?
          Short Synopsis: You didn't really think I'd get all the way through this list without a Woody song, did you? A Roy is for life, not just for Christmas! A song about someone who's woken up to find himself locked away for his own safety. Thought provoking (for me at least) and mad as a squirrel in a raincoat.
          Favourite line: "Lock me in and throw the key away."
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHAzNU4Vsus (The original is only three minutes, but I like this version better. Listen in stereo if possible.)
          See also: Most things by Roy Wood have excellent lyrics. Going Down the Road is pretty impressive though. Very political. But also Scottish reggae.

10. Ne Ne Na Na Nu Nu
          Performed by: Bad Manners
          Describe it in five words: If possible, ask Short Chris.
          Short Synopsis: This is an excellent song with limited words. The other bonus is that the few words that are repeated will fit very happily to any tune. Also, and I can't stress this enough, LAUGHING SAXOPHONE SOLO.
          Favourite line: "Ne ne ne ne na na nu nu!"
          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWOAJ0My9I
          See also: Scruff the Huffy Chuffy Tugboat by Bad Manners (*LANGUAGE WARNING*). A super duper excellent song. But if you don't like it, try anything else by Bad Manners or Madness, it's all insane.


Well, that's it. If anyone actually likes these lists of music, I can do others by mood, theme, instruments, whatever. If not, I'll go back to drivelling on about Germany and Scouts and things.


Emmatt Update: I realise there's not been one of these in a while, so to put you at ease, here's one. Matt and I are still together, nearly two years now (how he does it, I'll never know!) The distance is once again proving bothersome, as is the fact that I'm now at work all day. But we're still spending time chatting and whatnot, so fingers crossed! :)

Arrival in the Land of the Free and the Home Of The Daft.

That title refers to two separate places, by the way.

As you may know, folks, I have recently "upped sticks" and wandered my way over to Germany. It was a good decision. I'm glad I made this decision. Even though the weather is too hot to function.

After a week and a half of living in a Youth Hostel, I finally moved into my actual flat last Thursday. It's great. I get my own bedroom, and food, and a bathroom... And I'm living with a dude*, which is new and weird. You don't think it's going to be a big deal until you realise there are certain things you can't do any more. Don't get me wrong; I shared a house last year and I know how to be a vaguely tolerable housemate. I don't walk around naked or anything, and nobody has ever walked in on me in the bath. But there really are things you take for granted when you live with four other girls that you can't do if you're sharing with a guy.

Anyway, that's not what I was pondering. I was actually pondering the small differences that exist between life in Germany and life in the UK. They're silly things really, stuff you'd never even think of. But they exist nonetheless, and they make everything seem that little bit more alien. Here is my rundown:

They say you never forget your first -
Braunschweig's Amplemann.

Crossing the Road
This might seem like a weird one, but it's a serious consideration here. Jaywalking is illegal, with an on-the-spot fine of up to 25€ (as far as I remember), which is particularly enforced if you're caught doing it in front of children. Some days, this can add five to ten minutes onto my walk into work. You don't realise how often you cross a road before the lights go green in the UK. And it's a pain in the tush if there's no traffic coming and you still can't go. (Equally, traffic turning right onto the road you're crossing can still turn right. It just has to not hit you in the process, even if the little green man is showing.)
Also, I've found my first real life Ampelmännchen. :D EXCITING!

People
This is the bit where I talk about the dude I'm living with. He is the MOST GERMAN man I have ever met. Seriously. How is anyone even that German? His surname takes up two lines of space on the letterbox. He wears almost entirely black and listens to scary metal music. He does one of the most efficient sounding jobs I have ever heard of. He drives a van (I don't know why I find this particularly German, I just do) and last week he literally ate a singular sausage with mustard for dinner. He even suffers from what my father affectionately calls "The German Affliction" (smoking).
And the lady dudes at work aren't much less stereotypical. They've all got incredibly German names, like Annika and Britta, and they do that German lady thing of always wearing scarves and vests and getting into work really early to make sure they reserve their desks with towels...
Plus, most conversations I have with them are about food. Or alcohol.**
Stereotypes. They really do exist for a reason.

Breakfast
What sort of self-respecting country eats breakfast off a board? Germany, that's who.

Pasta
Apparently, pasta sauce made of beetroot, hotdog and whatever other vegetables and spices you have in the sparsely-stocked kitchen is a typical DDR meal. Apparently.
I'm not sure I believe that but, unlike some people around here, I wasn't actually born in the DDR. Something something communist rant.

(It was actually really tasty, I just wasn't expecting it.)

Mealtime Manners
You don't eat until everyone has their food. Obviously this is the same in the UK, but you always get the sort of "please start, don't all wait on ceremony" fandango going on. In Germany, you wait until everyone is seated and ready to actually begin the eating process, then you say "Guten Appetit" and then you eat. It's nice really, then everyone feels like they're included. (NB. My main experience of this is in a cafeteria, where you have to wait for everyone to sit down with their food.)

Flexitime
Awesome. This is a great idea. I know it exists in the UK, but it seems to be more common/widespread here. There are certain "core times" that you have to work (where I am it's between 10:00 and 15:00), but otherwise you can do whatever, as long as you average your total number of hours per week.
The only problem I have with flexitime is that I don't always have enough to do at the moment. Because we're not in our peak season, there isn't always enough work for me to be getting on with. This means that there is a lot of time where I have to make my own work to ensure I'm filling the minimum requirement for the week and not slacking off at 4:30 every day. Regardless of what my workload is, my hours are still the same.

Supermarket checkouts
Anyone who's used Lidl or Aldi in the UK will have a vague idea of how this works. German supermarkets don't usually have that nice long space at the end of the checkout that means you can take a bit of time packing your bags. Everything is thrown at you and pay is demanded as soon as the cashier is done. If you're not packed by then, you're in the way of the next person.
However, unlike in the UK, the person behind you is probably not going to be sympathetic of the fact that you're only twenty and haven't had to do your own shopping for much longer than a year.
You're a strong German woman, mein Gott, can't you go any faster?
I'm not German, I'm a Brit. I get sunburn and I apologise for literally everything.
Literally.
Sorry.

Achso ja, that's it really. They're the ones that immediately spring to mind. I'm sure there are others, like not walking in the cycle lanes, but you'll probably hear about those over time. My plan isn't to turn this blog into a year abroad blog, but I am now living in Germany, so you'll have to get used to the fact that I'm going to talk about German things a lot. ("What's new?" I hear you say. Yes, I can hear you through the internet.)


*I often use "dude" as an agender epithet, but for the purposes of this blog post, "dude" is male and "Lady dude" is female. I don't have to refer to anyone of any other gender in this post. When I do, I'll think of something.

** I'm fully aware that these aren't all standard German stereotypes, but they exist a lot throughout Germany, so I'm using them.




EDIT: Daniel gave up Smoking about two months ago, and he's doing really well. He's not killed anyone yet or anything.

Fame At Last?

Hello dear reader(s), and welcome back! I just have one thing for you today, although I'm hoping to have several posts out in the near future. Today I am pondering the idea that I am now famous :)

Well, sort of.

Earlier this academic year, i.e. before Christmas, I enrolled on a module called "Fremdsprachen; Lernen und Lehren" (Teaching and Learning Foreign Languages for those who don't speak German). The aims of this module were to teach us about theories of language acquisition, to explore second language development at various ages, and to essentially teach us how to teach. It was a great module, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who gets the chance to do it (so, German Studies students at Nottingham Uni.) Despite initial worries that it was just a module aimed at German learners to remind us that our only job prospect was teaching (yeah, right), it was actually very informative and interesting in itself.

The assessment for this class was an essay, but the formative assessment, carried out halfway through the module to ascertain how well we were coping with the content, was to create teaching materials for a Beginners' German first year class. We had the option, in groups, of either preparing a lecture and presenting it, or making a video. I worked with Jordan, and we made a video exploring the difficult pronunciations found in German, which just don't exist in English. Our video was, somehow, a resounding success. Sascha, who ran the module, absolutely loved it (far more than we did!) and this made us all very happy.

A few weeks ago Jordan and I received an email from Sascha, asking if he could use our video as part of a report on the module's success, with a link being put on the University's website. We of course said yes. You know, whatever makes you happy, Sascha.

From Helen

Oddly, this has ended with two people, so far, sending me links to my own video, telling me I'm famous. Well, two is hardly thousands, and I don't really need a link to the video - I'm in it! But it's nice to be recognised. By my housemates.

Anyway, here's the link to the original blog, if you fancy a read. The video link is on there:
http://blogs.nottingham.ac.uk/clas/2015/05/21/flipped-roles-german-students-as-teachers/

Much love xx

For Reference, Next Time You're At A Pub Quiz

Hello my dear children, today I am in Sheffield, and pondering Bell Ringing. Again. Because we're here bell ringing and that's what we ponder.

I thought I'd share with you all today some useful pub quiz knowledge in the form of bell method names. A bell method is the pattern you follow when ringing that tells you when you're supposed to ring your bell and who you should follow. The names of these patterns are a) hilarious, and b) informative. For example, if you're ringing "To the Pub Doubles", it's funny because at some point someone will shout "Go: To The Pub" at you, and informative because you know it'll be rung on five bells.

"How do you know this?", I hear you cry. It's simple really, each number of bells has a different name, which is useful, but doesn't make a lot of sense.

It goes like this:

Three bells: Singles
Four bells: Minimus
Five bells: Doubles
Six bells: Minor
Seven bells: Triples
Eight bells: Major
Nine bells: Caters
Ten bells: Royal
Eleven bells: Cinques
Twelve bells: Maximus

After that people just use numbers, because there are so few places with more than twelve bells that these methods hardly ever get rung.

The best way to remember these is to split them into odd- and even-numbered bell methods. That way, you get nice patterns of:

Singles, Doubles, Triples, Caters (from the French for "four"), Cinques (From the French for "five")

and

Minimus, Minor, Major, Royal, Maximus. Which, if you think about it, is a nice little pattern in itself, with the exception of Royal, which always throws me.

Anyway, I hope this information was interesting, or at least wins you a round in a Pub Quiz at some point.

Much love xx

Feeding Yourself (My Top Ten Tips)

Hello friends, my apologies for not writing recently. Today I was pondering advice I'd give to students trying to cook for themselves for the first time. Recently I've seen a lot of info graphics and posts on healthy eating, and cheap eating and I thought "I could do that. That's how I live. Maybe I should tell people about how I live." Then I though "nobody would read that." But that's what this blog is for; writing things people may never read. So here it is, my top ten tips for living healthily, cheaply and easily in no particular order. Whilst this advice is aimed at students,  it's not exclusively for them and can be used by anyone who wants a little guidance.

1. Buy food in bulk.
Seems obvious really. With things like dried foods; rice, pasta, noodles, cereal and dried fruit for example, you can stock up massively. Buying a 5 kg bag of pasta (as long as you have the space for it) is cheaper overall than buying five separate kilo bags of pasta at different times. Things like that certainly won't go off any time soon, so it won't matter how quickly you use them either. Same goes for buying cooking oil, and other basic store cupboard ingredients like teabags, flour and sugar.

Another great thing to do this with is rolled oats. Oats are great for porridge, which is healthy and filling, for flapjack, which is delicious, and for generally putting with salad or fruit and yogurt, or making your own muesli, which is cheaper and more fun than buying it in a packet. 

Similarly, this is true for tinned vegetables, soup, and sauces. For example,  I would definitely recommend buying tins of chopped tomatoes for use in basic sauces and meals, as well as having a couple of cans of soups for rainy days where you live in your duvet. 

And I'm certainly not saying that you shouldn't buy things like frozen pizzas or ready meals (although I do suggest that you should mix it up on occasion.) Keep a couple of easy meals in the freezer for when you feel sad, lazy or rushed, just don't use them as the majority of your meals if you can help it, especially if you're not cooking vegetables with it. This advice also stands for frozen veg, and oven chips; both are great things to have in your armoury, but I wouldn't use them as your main sources of vitamins and carbohydrates.

2. Cook meals from scratch.
Cooking from scratch puts people off because they say it's time consuming and difficult. That's quatsch. Cooking a simple meal from scratch will take as much time, or less, than putting a frozen pie in the oven. And if you seriously think that cutting up vegetables and a few pieces of meat and throwing them in a pan is difficult, then I don't think I can help you. Sorry. There are several meals that you can cook just by frying off some meat and veg (or boiling if you feel healthy) and then adding sauce. These include chilli, pasta sauce, special fried rice, stew, casserole, chunky broth, stir fry, curry... And anything you fancy making up. I've had some great meals which haven't really been anything, just stuff in a pan that tastes delicious. Get inventive!
The other thing you can cook from scratch is baked goods: buying flour, sugar and butter is far cheaper than buying endless cakes from your local shop. The other alternative is the famous, or perhaps infamous, cake in a mug, or brownie in a mug (Credit to Ali and Mandy for introducing me to this idea). This one is ideal for students, as it's cheap, easy, and quick. Here is my current favourite recipe for such a meal (needs tweaking sometimes): http://www.instructables.com/id/Mug-Brownie/

3. Cook meals in bulk.
You can cook things in bulk. Most definitely, a totally easy and useful for planning shopping and cooking days in advance. I discovered this one when I accidentally made portions the same size as I would make for several people at home. If you make enough food for four portions, that's four meals out of one set of ingredients. And the extra three portions can be put into Tupperware (definitely get yourself some of that!!!) and either put in the fridge or freezer for a later date when you're feeling too lazy to do anything except stick something in the microwave.

4. Get yourself the right equipment!
This is very important. I'd suggest the bare basics include a wok, a spatula, a sieve, scales, sharp knives, a chopping board and a slo-cooker. All of these things are hugely useful to people trying to cook anything that's not a frozen pizza (more on that later). My suggestion is that you cook things from scratch (see above) and for that you'll need the minimum requirement of one pan. The chopping board is mostly to protect your work surfaces, and for making it easier to move chopped veg from one place to another. Sharp knives are paramount to proper cooking; I struggled through three months with a set of semi-blunt knives, which couldn't even cut a mushroom. I've now invested in some cheap and cheerful knives (*epic manly voice* "from JML") which are far better, and purple (ceramic coated, very easy to clean). Sieves are useful, especially if you've got vegetables for washing, or rice to drain. The slo-cooker is genius, especially if you're very busy. You can prep a meal the night before and just leave it on for as long as you want. It heats up using a ceramic plate inside, so there's no risk of fire; it's designed to be left on for whole days at a time. You can also make puddings in it, but I've not tried that yet.

Also, TUPPERWARE!!!!! To prepare and cook in bulk, you will need varying sizes of plastic containers to hold things in. For the best versatility, I suggest something that can be both frozen and microwaved without a problem; but a set of Tupperware like this can still be bought in Poundland. (Another great use of this is as a lunchbox, a great way to save money and eat healthier.)

5. Shop around for the best products.
Obviously, this one depends on where you put the emphasis on your food. If you prefer higher quality food then perhaps you should try and find the best shops, whether they be supermarkets or local independent producers, at the best value for the quality. If you are on a tighter budget, and are less worried about quality then you should consider shopping around different supermarkets in your area; my particular favourite is Lidl, because it offers some cheaper prices on basic foods. Plus it sometimes has weird German things. Anyone who knows me knows how much I like weird German things...

6. Choosing meat
This goes for both the cuts of meat and the type you buy. Beef is obviously more expensive than pork or chicken, but it's got nice proteins and things in it, probably. As long as you don't go overboard, there's no reason for you not to have beef on occasions. You don't have to suffer just because your on a budget. Pork can be quite a fatty meat, so you have to be careful to get a good cut, whichever part of the animal you go for (including bacon). Chicken can be good, but turkey is almost exactly the same meat, but healthier and cheaper. If you're making a stew, casserole, or pie, the  turkey will work just as well as chicken. When buying cuts of meat, diced beef is more expensive, but of higher quality, than stewing beef. However, if price is a concern, then a stewing beef used for what it is intended, and stewed for several hours, can also be very tender and equally tasty. Back bacon contains more meat (and is thus better value) than streaky bacon, which is mostly fat. The same goes for minced meat; you have to find a balance between fat content and price. With mince, the fattier it is, the more it will shrink with cooking. Chicken or turkey thighs have equally good meat to breasts (tee hee), but cheaper. They can require extra preparation, unless you can find them boned (the hee again) or ask a decent butcher to do it for you.

7. Vegetables
I know you might turn up your nose at this bit to begin with, but vegetables are a very cheap way to bulk out food. For example, not only is a chilli with only meat in it basically just a Bolognese,  it's also very expensive and won't stretch to more than one or two meals (see below). The obvious things to buy are onions, bell peppers and carrots, but I would also recommend buying celery, and sprouts. No, no, hear me out on this one. Both of these things are ridiculously healthy, massively cheap, and you can't taste them in stews, curries or anything like that. A celery plant costs about 60p, and will be sufficient for at least ten meals. Sprouts are much cheaper than cabbage or cauliflower pound for pound and can be used in smaller portions without fear of spoiling. I fully endorse the extensive use of vegetables in all dishes, both for health reasons, and for costs. I even eat mushrooms now!

8. Flavour
There are very easy and cheap ways to get lots of flavour in your meals. I'd buy a couple of pots of dried spices and herbs to keep in your cupboard, and then use a couple of fresh ingredients. Choose wisely though, there's no point in buying cardamom seeds if you're never going to use them. I can't advise in this area, it depends what you want. Personally, I use chilli powder, curry powder and cinnamon for puddings. As for fresh ingredients, garlic bulbs are very cheap and delicious, as well as versatile. Similarly, lemons are about 30p each, and they can be used for juice and pulp in different contexts; fresh chillies are excellent for adding a bit of flavour (the seeds are the main source of heat, use that information wisely); and root ginger is delicious fresh, and massively cheap too.
Remember what I said about cooking in bulk? That's the same for sauces. Make yourself a batch of this curry sauce ( http://www.grouprecipes.com/36246/healthy-curry-sauce.html ) and freeze or chill it in your Tupperware, it's brilliant, and can be adjusted to your personal tastes. (Where it mentions stock, it doesn't say how much. I reckon one cube in 200ml of boiling water is right.) Which brings me onto my next point...

9. Stock cubes.
Stock cubes are one of the cheapest and best ways of making food delicious. You know those Ramen packets and super noodles that students are so in love with? Most of the flavour in these overpriced packets of carbs comes from standard stock or bullion cubes, such as OXO (other brands are available.) You can easily make a cheap alternative to the pot noodle by cooking your standard noodles in stock. Same flavour, a fraction of the price. Similarly, if you're making anything which needs any sort of gravy, a stock cube is a great edition to a mix, as it gives an extra flavour that isn't necessarily beef.

10. Luxury items.
This one really is a money saving tip, rather than anything else. If you're on a tight budget,  then try to stick to supermarket own brands for as much as possible, but let yourself have one or two products which you buy for quality, not price. For me, these are usually fruit juice, which I try to buy not from concentrate and occasionally cuts of meat. I also sometimes buy a jar of Nutella, but to be honest, I sometimes prefer to Lidl own brand, because it tastes more of nuts. So yeah, pick a couple of things, maybe ones that you don't have to buy as often, that you just can't live without and are happier to have quality over cost.

That's it really, that's where my "wisdom" runs out. Thanks for reading all the way to the end, sorry it's such a long post! I hope you've learnt something, even if you don't use anything I've said :)
Hope your exams are going well, if you've got them. If not the *loud raspberry noise*. If you're out in the real world, then I hope work is going well and the January blues haven't caught you! Until next time, much love xx

Sort-Of an Apology. More Clarification, Really

Hey guys! So I realised that my most recent post didn't really make any sense to anyone who wasn't actually with me at the NUA the other weekend, so this post is going to try and clarify some things.

NUA stands for Northern University Association. The bit that doesn't say is "Of Change Ringers" or something similar. The NUA is an annual Bell Ringing event for students and those who wish they were still students. I attended with NUSCR, the Nottingham University/ies Society of Change Ringers. Whilst our membership is actually pretty big, four of us went on this particular trip; that was two Chrises, Esther and myself. We all got called Chris for the weekend to make it easier for people to remember.

The reason I didn't explain any of this in my original post is that the report was adapted from the original (shorter and more boring) report which I wrote for the NUSCR website (found here) and I totally forgot that people other than the aforementioned Chrises and Esther (and Emily) read this blog.

I've been ringing at All Saint's with the university society for about nine weeks now, and I handle the bell properly, most of the time. I'm beginning to get the hang of timing and can sort-of-a-little-bit keep time in rounds (that thing where the bells go ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding in descending order), but only if I'm being severely helped and/or catered to by the other ringers. Fortunately, everyone at NUSCR is really patient and helpful, especially Matthew, Simon, Tom, Chris and Chris, who've been teaching me, and Emma, who acts as my personal demonstrator (perks of being married to the Steeple Keeper, I guess). Everyone else is also excellent, but they've only really had to tolerate my terrible ringing, not my terrible learning.

Basically, NUSCR are some of the nicest people I've ever met, You wouldn't guess from just seeing us at the pub, because we spend the entire time trying to wind each other up, but part of that makes us closer, because we know none of it is really serious. Probably. I hope not.

I'm never serious anyway, but that's just me.

Full and Brutally Honest Review of the NUA 2014

When I left home on Friday, my housemate said, “Have a good time. And I hope that things don’t get too bad when you inevitably end up in A and E.” Fortunately, NUSCR’s trip to NUA 2014 stopped just short of a trip to the hospital…

After several hours of train travel, highly scorched burgers and some overpriced pints, Tall Chris, Short Chris, Esther Chris and myself (Chris) followed a couple of total strangers for half an hour, arriving at a church hall; picked for the weekend’s accommodation for the sole reason of being totally inappropriate. Having been reunited with some old friends, and immediately capturing some new ones, NUSCR asked the fundamental question: “Where’s the booze?”, embarking on what turned into an hour-long beer quest which showed us just how far from any form of civilisation we were. Fortunately, New Friend Hannah took this welcome opportunity to reveal her hidden superpower to locate Co-Ops. (Unfortunately, said “convenience” store had just shut. Points for trying, though!) Friday night was otherwise quite a standard affair, involving much drinking, chatting, and Plain Hunt on Beer before falling asleep on a floor which may have been even less comfortable than anything I have ever slept on before, including Ross.

Saturday started early, with an English breakfast and copious amounts of throat-meltingly strong tea. We arrived at our first tower in St Nicholas in Kenilworth (after what seemed like a year on the bus) where, after a short wait, we successfully rang some rounds. Our next stop was at All Saints in "the Bell Ringing capital of Europe" (don't ask me, ask Helen!) Leamington Spa. After yet another bus ride, we finally arrived in Warwick itself and rang briefly at St Mary's, before embarking on yet another epic bus ride, to Stratford-upon-Avon, where we met Lucy and IPM Dan in (where else?) a pub, before "we" (Chris and our new friends from BUSCR) rang at Holy Trinity Church, described as the best tower of Saturday. The rest of stayed at the pub, and so missed out on that one, what a shame! The final tower of the day was Lillington (where I actually did some ringing!!!) and another tedious bus journey brought us back to base just about, but not quite, in time for dinner. 

And a ceilidh. 

Why didn't I heed the ceilidh warnings? 

We (including Becks and Phill, who deigned us with their presence just after dinner) spent the evening flinging each other around the room as hard and as fast as we could. I swear, I have never had so much fun being disregarded by multiple men. The funniest bit for the spectators was probably Short Chris throwing Becks to the ground and then stomping on her hair, which he maintains was an accident. Yeah, right. As for the dancing, whilst I thoroughly enjoyed Baskets and Strip the Willow (look it up, kids), I actually much preferred the dances where my feet were primarily on the ground; bouncing around the hall on the arm of one Chris or another was enough for me, thank you! This merriment finished at around eleven, having started relatively soon after dinner, giving us many an hour of merriment. Naturally, after this, everyone just stayed up chatting for as long as we could hold our own drinks and ended up in bed shortly before sunrise on Sunday.

Sunday morning was a little more relaxed, as the first church of the day was very nearby at All Saints in Allesley, where a nice man with the key to the bell tower recommended that we try a small local tower with a 300-weight six, which was not on our route. So, naturally, we went off-tour to check it out. Right decision. This tower was described by several people as the best of the weekend, missed by everyone except NUSCR and SUGCR. Personally, I was in no position to comment, having only rung three towers that weekend, and only one other tower ever. How do you even decide what a nice tower is? Unless, like Short Chris at St Nicholas, you have real trouble keeping it up. Most of NUSCR somehow managed to miss the next tower in Stoke, when Phill accidentally drove into Debenham's*, and turned up to the pub early enough for a second breakfast. After a very close call involving a BUSCR member who had to have her legs over her head for quite a while (and not in a good way) in the pub at lunchtime we finally turned up at Coventry Cathedral Tower to ring the final bells of the tour. The Coventry experience also included the opportunity to watch the bells from above, as well as a tour of the amazing bombed-out ruins of the old cathedral, opportunities taken up by many.

NUSCR’s tour ended with five consecutive train journeys to different places, all aiming to get us home to showers (not necessarily our own) and bed. Having essentially been tricked into coming on the NUA, I'm incredibly glad that I was; it has been one of the best experiences of my life, with some of the nicest people I have ever met (and Chris). Having joined Bell Ringing Society on a whim, I have come to the conclusion that it's quite possibly one of the best decisions I have ever made, even if more time is spent at the pub than in the tower(!)

*Phill's driving was not (as Short Chris expected) sufficiently bad enough that we actually ended up parked in the lingerie department of Debenham's, more that we turned into an accidental multi-storey and were too lazy to drive out again.