Soooooo...

No need to look surprised, Roy -
I've been talking about it for years!

... I haven't written for a while. I've been meaning to and wanting to, but I've just not had the time. Anyway today I am pondering dying my hair, once again. Anyone who's known me for any length of time will know that it is currently one of my five life dreams to dye my hair bright pink. At the moment, I am looking at which is the best place to buy the colour from.

This particular ponderance has been brought on by seeing my old friend Sally for the first time in ages at the weekend (Happy Birthday, Sal!) Sally now has blue streaks at the front of her hair and they are super-awesome, they really suit her. When I asked her about it, she told me it was part of her new "Art College persona", which is fair enough. My plan since my parents said "not in our sink, sunshine!" is to change my hair once I get to Uni.

But Sally isn't the only reason for this particular strive to change my hair. My last A Level exam is on Wednesday, so naturally I am looking to the future. Hopefully from September onward I'll be talking to y'all from a small room in Nottingham, rather than an even smaller room in Hertfordshire! That's got me thinking really, what sort of person do I want to be at Uni? I want to be the same as I am at the moment, except for the enormous pile of onlookers who only remember how awkward I was for the first three years of my secondary school career. But I also want to be interesting to talk to; intellectual. Not that I want every conversation to turn into some massive political or ethical debate, I'd just like to be able to discuss things a little more interesting than the weather and who's going to leave the Apprentice this week.

Maybe that's why I like Radio 4 all of a sudden...

Anyway, I've spoken to a lot of you about this I know, but I'd like to hear other people's opinions too. At the moment, I'm agreeing with Leila on the shade of pink (there are thousands). I don't want pastel or baby pink, as I think my face will look round and the overall effect would be babyish. Plus, it's not the look I was going for. At the same time, I'm not planning to go for something too bright; I was at one point, but I think it's become too overused by trashy girls and people who just make it look tacky (this is in no way meant to offend anyone with pink hair - I love you - but there are people who have "dirtied the name" of pink-hairedness.) So my plan at the moment is to aim for a sort-of-magenta shade and pray that it turns out OK. Of course, my icon in this whole shenanigan is Roy Wood, King of the Pink Hair Brigade* (having famously gone prematurely pink) and his hair is that sort of colour, primarily because I guess he doesn't bleach it beforehand.

Thoughts?


*The Pink Hair Brigade is in no way affiliated with or similar to the Tolmers Pink Triangle, or any other Pink Triangle for that matter.

Arbeit Macht Frei

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for any offence caused by the title of this post. It hasn't been meant in an offensive way or as a reminder of the past, but as a way to grab attention and make a point. Last Wednesday was my last proper day of school at Owen's and this phrase (translstion: work makes freedom, originally written above the gates of Auschwitz) will be one of my overriding memories of the day. So I suppose today's pondering is why some people have to spoil things.

Our last day at school, traditionally known as Muck-Up Day, is always a bit of a joke. We are expected to come in early and decorate the school based on our theme, which we choose, and also dress up accordingly. Our chosen theme was "Neverland", as in Peter Pan, and about seventy of us had agreed with the Head that we would come in at 6:30 and make the school lunch hall into a pirate ship, complete with statue of Captain Dame Alice Hook*. It was an absolute masterpiece and everyone who was involved was really proud. (At this point I'd also like to thank and congratulate Joanna and Aisha on their amazing organisation of the whole thing.)

However, when we went to look at the rest of the school, we got a shock.

The front of the school looked great; Nicole has decorated her car to look like an island and there were big banners saying "Welcome to Neverland" and "Never Grown Up Since 2006". That was really good. But the further into the school you got, there worse it got. Classic pranks, such as buttered door handles and handrails were there but there was also writing on all the walls. Some of it was almost funny but some of it, like the Nazi slogans, Swastikas and some incredibly rude messages about teachers and one about one person in our year, were just completely unacceptable. There's no need for that sort of reaction to seven years of excellent education.

Later we heard that half the year had been in since 4am and had drunk considerably beforehand, leading to the ridiculous actions we witnessed. I would like to stress to any teachers that have wandered onto this blog that it wasn't all of us acting like this and that those of us who weren't involved are very sorry it happened. And in future, you might like to know that butter works very well at getting chalk off of walls. Butter, water and bare hands.

This isn't my only memory of that last day; the Assembly we had was very nice, with messages from the teachers and the award ceremony (Best Accessories!) It was all very touching and I cried a lot (and not just for the injustice against the teachers.) And after a disappointing 'social' at Old Owen's, a group of us went to one of Potters Bar's many pubs and had a lovely chat, which was nice. And of course, I have the memory of Jason's face when I turned up for my lesson with a bright green face... (I was a crocodile!)

*Our school has a statue of Dame Alice Owen, the foundress, in the lunch hall. She is traditionally dressed up for Muck-Up Day. In previous years, she has looked lovely in tin foil, bikinis and bubblewrap.

Exams (Yes, it's that time again...)

Dust off the revision guides and get out those massive (and incredibly cool now that hipsters are a thing)  reading glasses, it's revision time again! Yes, the time of year where we ponder the previously pondered is upon us. We all know what this means; it means that we should've all been relearning what we've already learnt before we've even learnt it since about February, because otherwise WE WILL ALL FAIL AND NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE US EVER AGAIN!!!!!

Just me? Oh, OK then :)

For myself and my peers, this year holds a much greater threat than any other previous year. As Nicole said in RS the other day: "Before, if we did badly, we could just resit. Our pride would be hurt, but that's about all. Now, if we do badly, we don't get into university and the rest of our lives are ruined." Ok, so I don't agree with the ruined lives bit, but this is effectively true. Whilst there are some universities (apparently St Andrews is one of these) which prefer to offer places to people who have already secured their grades and have gained a little life experience, the fact that one is required to retake some A Levels does not sit well with many places of study. Plus, as my Dad points out on every available occaison "taking a gap year and traveling the world is one less year in which you could be earning." Unless you work through your accidental gap year (yay), but then again, who would want to employ someone who doesn't even have A Levels (or at least good A Levels) in this day and age?

Grade inflation has a lot to answer for.

Plus, if you do get a job during your gap year, it can only really be part time because, of course, you have to revise for those fabulous exams again. And this time is even more serious because there's no way you'd be considered for anything if you had to redo your A Levels twice.

Or maybe none of this is really a possibility and I'm just panicking because at my school we're all expected to be able to recite Pi to several thousand digits by the end of year seven.

Sporadic Is A Fun Word

I apologise firstly for my sporadic writing-ness of this blog, I have (would you believe) a life outside of the Internet, which (unfortunately) must come first. So I thought I'd update my single, lonely reader on what's going on, which isn't much. So I'm pondering the future.

Basically, because I want to study Law (with German) next year people immediately assume that I want to be a lawyer, possibly in Germany. Which I don't. Not that I'm not considering living in Germany; that actually sounds like fun and I love it there, so it's a possibility. But being a lawyer is something I don't really want to do.

[MASSIVE SIDEBAR: I should explain at this point for people who may not entirely understand. 'Lawyer' is a collective term for 'barristers' (the people who stand up in court and wear the wigs) and 'solicitors' (who are the ones who do the civil cases, such as divorce and spend most of their time on paperwork.) 'Lawyer' is not actually a separate job, however, there is some crossover between the two jobs which count as lawyers: Barristers do obviously have to do some paperwork, and Solicitors can represent people in court if they are asked. But training for either job is almost ten years and neither position is something I would like to do particularly.]

Therefore I think it would be fairer if I left the limited lawyer jobs to the thousands of people who desperately want them.

This then begs the question "What do you want to do then, you weirdo?" And I have to say, to be honest, I don't really know. I would really like to do something with/in German, but I know I may not be able to without working for a Bank (something 18 years of second-hand experience has warned me against.) However, I'd quite like to work for the Government, maybe as an official translator or some such position, or maybe in international relations.

In all honesty, I'd love to be a writer. I love writing (usually screenplays or this blog) and I'd love to be able to spend more time doing it, but I know that writing isn't really a steady career and I wouldn't be able to support myself, let alone a family, on the money I would potentially earn.

So once again, I must live in the real world and not the perfect hypothetical world I've created for myself. I hate being sensible, it ruins everything. Advice?

A Conundrum

Hello Beautiful People Of The Internet (and Becky)! I am here once again to tell you about the things I think about (or stuff I ponder). See what I did there?
Clever, huh?
Well, today I have a dilemma and I am not sure what to do. But I feel I have bugged my friends too much recently. So I have decided to bug the Internet for a change. Sorry :)

I had a letter from a certain University last Friday, telling me that I have been pooled by the college I applied for; that means they're still considering my application, but that my first choice college probably can't fit me in (Not very good at making that anonymous...) This is both good and bad news. It's good, because it means they want me, it's bad because they don't want me enough to offer me a place straight away. Anyway, that's not the problem. The thing is, I haven't heard back from them yet, and every day that I don't hear is another day less likely it will be a positive response. But that's not the problem either.

You see, as much as I'd really love to go to this University (it's definitely my first choice) there are several other universities which I have applied for and would be perfectly happy at, one of which (Nottingham) has offered me a conditional place. But that's where the problem lies: As much as I love Nottingham - the university is beautiful and their course (Law with German and German Law) sounds fantastic, I just fell in love with the whole package - there's one thing that's stopping me from wanting to accept the offer. If I go to Nottingham there's a very strong possibility I'll bump into a certain idiot who can't tell the difference between the words "yes" and "no".

At this point I understand that some people will be confused. Last year I was subject to the stupidity of one individual who could not tell the difference between an affirmative and negative response to what (I thought) was a very simple question. This led to quite a lot of upset on my part (obviously, because I am a girl). Recently, I asked for clarification of this misunderstanding and I was completely ignored. To be honest, this didn't bother me. The quickest way to forget everything good about someone is to be refused help when you ask politely for it. But you see how it could be awkward for me to go to Nottingham now; I think if I were to meet this person again, I might either be (accidentally) incredibly rude, or physically ill. Or punch them.

So, Internet, what do you think I should do? Is this something I should actually be worrying about?

What I Really Do...

This basically covers my ponderings for today...

Passing The Time Between Sleeping

Hey, sorry it's been so long - yet again - since I last posted (not that anyone reads this anyway, unless I put a link on Facebook). Anyway, I've been all over the place recently, doing all sorts of stuff for various motives. What I thought would be an easy way to ease myself back into this would be to briefly outline everything I've been pondering (well, everything relevant) and maybe revisit them at a later time if I feel the need.

SUBJECT: University Entry
REASON FOR PONDERING (RFP): Education
EXPAND? Basically, by October 15th, I have to have decided the next apart of my future. Hazzah(!) Anyway, it's a lot of stress, because I have no idea what to think/do and, even though I know what I want to study, I'm worried I won't get into the place(s) I want to get into. And filling out the UCAS form continues to be a pain (ask my Dad...)

SUBJECT: School
RFP: Education
EXPAND? Once again, I have my nose thoughtlessly shoved up against the grindstone of the everyday system. Once again, I am having to wake up at 7.15 (yes, I know that lots of people have to wake up a lot earlier than I do, but I'm really not a morning person) and get into school, but this time I am adorned with more responsibilities and even more work, most I which I asked for (obviously not the work).

SUBJECT: EPQ
RFP: Education (again)
EXPAND: OK, for those who don't know, the EPQ (which stands for Extended Project Qualification) is exactly that. I have to do a long and interesting project on the removal of the prisoners' right to vote; it's actually really interesting (well, for me at least) and I'm really enjoying the work I'm doing, but I'm finding that I don't know what to research and I'm constantly worried that I've not done enough, even though I have done a lot of work for it. I also don't seem to have the time to get as much done as I want.

That in mind, I'm going to stop writing this now and actually get on with something useful, probably the EPQ. I'm sorry this turned into a rant about education, but that seems to be what's dominating my life at the moment. Much love xx

Shout It To The World!

You peeps! I have a very serious, yet jokey ponderance today.

This evening I found out a very interesting fact about one of my best friends that, really, I should have found out about a year ago. It's nobody's fault, it's just how things happen to have turned out. But it got me thinking. When I asked my other friend (Alice) if she knew she said it was "knowledge" but that there "hadn't been a huge song and dance about it". This gave me an idea.

From now, I am starting a campaign to get people Shouting their news from the rooftops!!! I think that the best thing we can do for our society and for ourselves is to be more open about our lives. So, if anyone had anything they'd like to share, they can comment here or message me and I will make it public (slightly) for them. This blog only reaches about forty people, but it's more than one person can tell at a time without a microphone or a soap box. You don't have to give a name, if you don't want to, but telling people will make you feel so much happier within yourself.

I'll start.

My name is Emma (we all know that) and I play the saxophone. I use the saxophone as a way to stop being sad and be awesome instead. I am a massive grammar nerd. I am a huge geek. I am both massive and huge. I have some friends, but no boyfriend, which is a shame. I study English (which I'm not as keen on as I used to be), German (which I love), Religious Studies (which I also love) and Chemistry (which is difficult, but worth it). I am a Methodist Christian (but not in a "you should all come to church with me" way. It'd be nice if you did, but I respect your right to choose, as long as it's not a danger to anyone else). I have recently discovered that I possess a power which makes people answer "yes" when really they should answer "no". This came back to bite me. I have the most supportive friends in the world!! I am an Explorer Scout and a Ranger (Guide Senior Section). I love playing the saxophone and it is a major part of my life. My saxophone is like the child I have yet to have (don't worry I'm not pregnant). My favourite film is Snow White. My favourite book is The Shell House.

Is there anything else? Ask me questions, I'll answer them. (Keep it clean please)

SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
Spread the word! Start telling people things!

Coping with Stress

Hey sexy beasts (and Stanley). Today, for obvious reasons, My ponderings (ponderances? Ponders? Ponderations?) have been on stress, anger and how people deal with such things. What do people do to "release" themselves? I have some friends who work best under stress and don't like bing too relaxed around exam time. I have another friend who combats stress by doing more work, to prove she can. I have yet other friends who relieve their anguish by baking which is lovely, but means everyone I know will have diabetes and heart disease by the time they're 20, including me, but I was going that way anyway.

 

Other people do other things, such as trolling, dancing, sex, self-harm, knitting and a myriad of other, more socially acceptable things as stress-busting techniques. I, as always, have my own take on this. Personally, I do five things:

 

• Exercise; walk, cycle or cross train all my anger and stress away whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Mind puzzles; solitaire, Majong, crosswords (to which I today answered slut and moist in the same puzzle) and www.memrise.com whilst listening to some arse-kicking power rock.
• Kick-arse power rock; sing, play, listen, annoy family with...
• Cry, shout, scream & get massively angry verbally. Usually at myself.
• Sleep. A lot.

 

These are all, I find, incredibly useful. As is eating, but I'm not allowed to do that any more :(
Another thing I do to stop from stressing/exploding is to change the topic of discussion, or what I'm thinking about. If I'm Stressed about exams, I'll think about saxophone music, or normal music, or about how awesome my life will be when all my exams are finished and I can finally do what I want. If I'm stressed about the future, or relationships (hahahahaha) or whatever, then thinking about work and upcoming projects is incredibly useful, or again thinking about music nc playing the saxophone keeps me from melting or something similar. If the stress is caused by an argument, I sleep.

 

Again, eating is also useful, but bad.

 

Comments?

Year 13 :S

This week, as the current Year Thirteens have been planning and executing their final scheduled days at Owen's, apparently not actually doing any work, I have started pondering what it'll be like for us next year. There are several things which are worrying me and these are what I want to write about today, not that anyone actually reads this (in pretendy posh accent) garbaaaarrrge.

Firstly that I'll end up not keeping in touch with people. Not just the important people (they know who they are, CBA to list them all), but less important people like Martha and Kelly (joke, I very love you much...). Seriously though, I saw the current year 13s saying goodbye to each other today and it became very real how far they'll be spreading out; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world. They're probably never going to see 190/200 of those people ever again, and as for anyone else they know at Owen's, well they'll almost definitely not keep in touch with them. That scares me. These people have been a MASSIVE part of my life for the last six years, not necessarily a good part most of them, but I've seen them practically every day for about 1/3 of my life. 


Clearly there are some people I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to see again (I'll leave that to the imagination), but there are so many great people at Owen's that I really want to keep in touch with, and I'm so scared that I'll never get to laugh at their failures (or oddly-sized shorts) again. That really scares me. I know I said that already, but it honestly does.


Secondly, what the hell should I have on the back of my leavers' hoody? I can't just have "Cracknell", that's boring. The only nicknames I have are "Crackpot", which has very negative connotations in some circles, and "Em Schmem", which only Alice calls me. Actually, that'd be pretty cool. Maybe I'll get that. OK, that problem's solved. Comments?

Finally, once I leave the safety of Owen's and the regularities of this life, I have to face the harsh truths of the real world. THAT is scary. I mean, I think my problems are pretty big at the moment, but they'll just get bigger once I leave this microcosm and join the actual rat race. The World's a big place, I don't know if I'm ready to be pat of it yet, and I'm pretty sure I won't be in a year's time either.

Sorry, offloading on the general public. not that anyone actually reads this shiz apart from Kelly, Martha and Misa, and they'll just be happy I've mentioned their names (Except Misa, who's probably on the run from the police....).

The School Library

Today, as I have a free period and I have already "exhausted my grey matter" I am pondering the joys of our school library. There aren't many. We come in here to work during our "study periods", or free lessons, and usually end up discussing anything and everything, including (but not restricted to):

• Politics
• Facebook
• The many escapades of Ella's dog Zak
• Ditto Hannah's dog Merlin
• Jacqueline and Beccy's work experience with lambs
• Misa's plan to conquer the world/universe/multiverse
• Cake
• The Queen
• Fashion
• Sophie and Henry's suppressed sexual tension (or whatever)
• Phillip Crout (and Mrs Georgia Crout)
• Scouts/Rangers/Guides/Splorers
• How much work we have to do
• The effects of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome on the exam process

However, more often than not we sit, in our small groups, discussing the work with whoever happens to be sitting nearby. For example, today Jacqueline has been checking that her revision notes for Biology are correct, Misa and Maria have been discussing maths and, whilst I've been writing this, Ella has asked me to Goggle some physics-y thing for her.

Unfortunately the wonderful Mrs Compton doesn't seem to understand how people need to talk to each other sometimes for work to be effective; we can't always be competely independent. Some bloke once said "Man is not an island" or something similar. We should respect that; how can we check that our German essays are accurate if we can't ask people like Leila or Stanley, who know everything? Etc. etc.

I could go on about this all day but to be fair, there are some people who abuse the library. Somehow it goes unnoticed if  Stanley and Maria play Library tennis (which was really funny, we should do it again next year), but it is noticed when Oliver lies across the table and starts singing at someone (usually Chris). Yeah, that was awkward....

Examinations (Part the Second)

So, my ponderings are back for "part the two".

Adults and other old people often say that exams are getting easier. This is possible, but it is more likely that the number of opportunities we have to resit and increase our marks has practically tripled. Apart from the fact that our exam system now is spead out over several weeks, so that if you have a bad day on the day of English paper 1, you can  make up for it with English paper 2, you can also then redo English paper 1 in six months time. And if, after that, you are still not happy, you can resit again six months after that.

However, I'd like to point out that the a Level exams are NOT easy! A "friend" of mine in year 13 said that he knows people who are resitting their AS Level English paper again this month for the second time because the exam board requires three essays about six different texts to be written in two hours and that requires superhuman speed and agility (or something). Secondly, Chemistry is almost as bad; if you write one incorrect word, you can lose three marks. And we're not even talking key words, just the difference between "lots more" and "increase in" or whatever.

Personally, I think the government should have away with compulsory written exams, give people the choice as to whether they answer with a written piece, a verbal response or some other form of assessment, such as a practical exam (which there already are for some subjects) as that would be a much fairer way of assessing people based on their own skill set. Or, as they've begun to do in primary schools, continuous assessment throughout your time at school, rather than three weeks of pressure at the end of every year; in what possible way is that an accurate representation of someone's performance??!?!?!

Thanks for listening to my random and annoyed/annoying wafflings. Have a nice day and good luck in your exams!

Examinations (Part the First)

So, here I am in a German lesson (hooray!) and I find myself pondering, surprise surprise, the impending exam period. Written exams are actually the most pointless invention of the human race since someone decided that the eyelash curler would be a step forward. When do I ever need to be able to write a coherent essay after I finish in education? Surely being able to write a decent letter which achieves a purpose is a much more marketable skill? Or being able to physically tell the difference between Hydrochloric acid and water, rather than the different effects they have on the human body after consumption. Isn't it a bit late by that point?

And what about the sheer number of exams we have to participate in? Seriously, next Wednesday I have two exams on the same day and I have to write five essays. Five essays. When will I ever have to write coherently about "Frankenstein" under timed conditions again (with the exception of the retake I'll have to undoubtedly do in January)? How is it in any way useful to put teenagers under this much stress for four years? I'm not suggesting that we should have the old-style exams, where your entire future was balanced on one five-hour long paper on the history of the sock or whatever, but there has to be a better way!

Seeing as this is going to turn into a very long rant, I'll post the next bit as a separate post. Stay tuned (or something...)!