Things I've learnt in 2015

Greetings dear friends and Internet stalkers. It's coming to that time of year again where I look back and ponder what I even did with myself over the last twelve months. As ever, the answer is "not a lot".

Still, I seem to have learnt some things. So here are the top twenty pieces of  ~ahem~ "useful" "knowledge"* I've picked up in 2015. I hope some of them are helful to at least one person at some time in the future.

1. According to my flatmate, food (specifically a kebab) is better than sex
2. It's not the ringers that smell of the tower, it's the tower that smells of the ringers
3. Vegan cooking can be super easy
4. The German for "a really big yurt" is "Super Jurte"
5. If you slice off the end of your thumb, it's probably not bad enough for you to need to go to hospital, just stem the blood flow
6. Lock the door when you're in the bath
7. If you don't know the words, just sing "tractor tractor tractor"
8. Mike the Tiger is the mascot for Louisiana University. He is a real, live tiger
9. Chicken fried chicken exists
10. Tea and sympathy get you a long way
11. If you get bitten by a Catholic, you become a Catholic
12. If you get bitten by the Pope, you become Italian
13. Vegan cheese doesn't melt
14. If you reach the age of 30 in north Germany without getting married, you have to sweep the steps of the Rathaus until a young lady comes along and kisses you [SIDEBAR: This tradition is more common among men, I don't know who kisses women. Maybe Santa]
15. "If it ends in 'e' it's probably 'die'" is a lie.
16. Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to make the house nicer
17. Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to use a slow cooker
18. Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to explain sausage rolls and Christmas Pudding
19. If you lose one of your Beavers, they are probably in the tent
20. You will get on better with your friends during a four day hike than you will ever in your life again. Ever.

Season's Greetings and a happy New Year!

*Some of these "facts" are true and some are utter garbage. I'll leave it to your personal judgement to decide which are which.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Hello team and may I say Well Done! This is the 100th post in this fabulous blog called "Stuff I Ponder". I feel very proud to have made it to this point, especially considering that I've done so in less than two years which means that, on average, I have somehow posted more than twice every week.

Given the enormous gaps I've had between some of these posts, I think that's pretty impressive. Plus, it means I must have an awful lot to say for myself :S

So, there's not really a lot I have to say on this post, I'm not pondering anything in particular, certainly. I guess it was just Happy Birthday. Maybe I'll put up some random quotes from the best of "Stuff". Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. So here we go. I'll put 2012 on this post and 213 and 2014 on the next post (post no. 101):

• you can just erect (laugh if you must) a "bitchin' yurt" - 1st April 2012
•  "Excuse me sir! In the Onesie! You look Excellent!" and my friend Adele yelling "Like a sexy baby grow!!" - 18th April 2012
• I have discovered the Tabernacle. It is like the mother of all tents; bigger than a yurt and without the yaks. - 18th April 2012
• (especially when I shouted "You sir, you look like a man who likes a cuddle!" at an Emo) - 18th April 2012
• Shove a Crout inside him (confusingly) (Emily) - 30th April 2012
• Hollow him out and use him as a canoe (Liz) - 30th April 2012
• My ponderances since I last write have been minimal, although my working-ness has been much - 17th June 2012
• I really am very, very sad. I thought to myself, as I cleaned my saxophone, wearing a shirt with a colourful message about Jesus after finishing playing music nobody had listened to and thinking about Scouts. Yes, I am about six walking stereotypes. - 17th June 2012
•  So basically, I have decided that I really don't want to be a Cub Leader! - 27th June 2012
• Team Saxophone, for those of you who don't know, is a group of seven "epic" people, who all play the saxophone in Concert Band (probably as a punishment for something bad they did in a former life...) - 17th July 2012
• Peter Hurrell should not, NOT be allowed to wear a mankini. Ever. - 27th July 2012
• Eventually, somewhere in the midst of the eighties, Jeff Lynne got bored and left, after writing a song about it (as you do). - 2nd August 2012
• Gabi and Markus, our German friends (from Germany, because they're just totally awesome like that) - 19th September 2012
• The only reason we should care if Kate gets pregnant is if the baby ends up ginger. And they should totally call it Emma if it's a girl. Just saying. - 21st September 2012
•  Like every other musical activity I do, this is the highlight of my week. - 6th November 2012
• Welcome back, Internet Dwellers, to my cave of mystery. My name is Plato (not really) and I have many wonderful things to discuss with you. Or not. At all. - 11th November 2012
• If you do it wrong, you die. Then you're dead. Forever. - 11th November 2012

House Hunting

It's now come to that time in my life where I've had to start (and indeed conclude) a hunt for my first privately-rented property (how scary!) So, this led to me pondering the housing market and, well, just everything really.

For anyone who's interested, I am sharing as part of a group of five girls who will all be living in a two-storey house in Beeston; near the university. The property has five bedrooms, three bathroom-esque rooms (only one actually has a bath in it, the others have showers), one lounge, one dining room, one kitchen, a scrubby garden with a "bald patch" (Helen) and a "Bedroom", in which the bedroom furniture doesn't even fit. Needless to say, this will be used as an occasional overnight room for people staying (willingly or because they're unable to use their own legs...) over and (probably) a storage room.

Basically, this whole process has made me feel very grown up; primarily because I have been doing most of the dealings with the estate agents (as the one who was willing to make the phone calls on Monday) and this gives me a terrifying level of responsibility, but also because I now realise that next year I will be responsible for myself; all the payments of bills and rent will be down to me (probably not financially, but I will be in charge of organising it) and if I mess up, it will be my own fault, with no way to blame anyone else.

That's scary.

In addition, I have decided I would be a terrible estate agent. I would feel incredibly guilty for the amount of... not quite lying, but... 'smoothing over' I would need to do to sell certain properties. Did you know there's no patron saint of estate agents*? Somehow it doesn't really surprise me. (At a stretch you could say it was St Lucy, patron saint of salespeople, but I'm not sure that's the entire of the estate agent's job.)

To be honest, my main concern for next year is getting on with my housemates, who are all lovely girls. This may seem a silly thing to say, if they're all lovely girls, why would that be a concern?
Basically, because they're so lovely I'm worried that I will be the one who will annoy everyone to the point where we have an argument and they are no longer friends with me. Apparently there's meant to be someone like that in every house. I really hope we're the exception...

If it doesn't work out, I could always live in a yurt.

Emmatt update: I realised I didn't do one of these last time, so in case anyone's interested, I thought I'd let you know. Matt and I sent a lot of time together over the Christmas holidays, even though we both had a lot to do. We're both very happy that we've now (more or less) reached five months together and are making plans to see each other in a few weeks, just after my Birthday. I also hope during this time to introduce him to some of my other friends (the girls I'm living with, plus other people in my course), although he doesn't know this yet. Sorry Matt.

*P.S. Father mine, the patron saint of Bankers is St Matthew

Shout It To The World!

You peeps! I have a very serious, yet jokey ponderance today.

This evening I found out a very interesting fact about one of my best friends that, really, I should have found out about a year ago. It's nobody's fault, it's just how things happen to have turned out. But it got me thinking. When I asked my other friend (Alice) if she knew she said it was "knowledge" but that there "hadn't been a huge song and dance about it". This gave me an idea.

From now, I am starting a campaign to get people Shouting their news from the rooftops!!! I think that the best thing we can do for our society and for ourselves is to be more open about our lives. So, if anyone had anything they'd like to share, they can comment here or message me and I will make it public (slightly) for them. This blog only reaches about forty people, but it's more than one person can tell at a time without a microphone or a soap box. You don't have to give a name, if you don't want to, but telling people will make you feel so much happier within yourself.

I'll start.

My name is Emma (we all know that) and I play the saxophone. I use the saxophone as a way to stop being sad and be awesome instead. I am a massive grammar nerd. I am a huge geek. I am both massive and huge. I have some friends, but no boyfriend, which is a shame. I study English (which I'm not as keen on as I used to be), German (which I love), Religious Studies (which I also love) and Chemistry (which is difficult, but worth it). I am a Methodist Christian (but not in a "you should all come to church with me" way. It'd be nice if you did, but I respect your right to choose, as long as it's not a danger to anyone else). I have recently discovered that I possess a power which makes people answer "yes" when really they should answer "no". This came back to bite me. I have the most supportive friends in the world!! I am an Explorer Scout and a Ranger (Guide Senior Section). I love playing the saxophone and it is a major part of my life. My saxophone is like the child I have yet to have (don't worry I'm not pregnant). My favourite film is Snow White. My favourite book is The Shell House.

Is there anything else? Ask me questions, I'll answer them. (Keep it clean please)

SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
Spread the word! Start telling people things!

Splorers: My Real Homies (Or Something)

'Allo Darleeengs. Today I am pondering the Splorers, who are perhaps my homies, besties, and the coolest people I know who I don't share the Common Room, or the lounge room at Church, with (Sorry guys, I have to put in that disclaimer).

Currently, our Explorer Scout Unit consists of:

• Andrew Wilhem Nigel Marshall
• Elizabeth Gillaaay Concertina Sartori
• Emily Rupertia Alfonz Young
• Me
• Jacktopher Arnold Maria Coleman
• Jessiqua Juan Wendy Kraushaar
• Joshua Irene Callum Roper
• MatThew Icecreamcone Raccoon Weller
• Oliver Nancy Margaret Brossi
• Philip Pippin Gorgeous Collis
• Phoebekins Noel Philanthropist Neal
• Rebecca Jayne (BJ) Tyrannosaurus (BT) Harvey
• Rossington Goatbreaker Toasteroven Staunton III
• Samantha Post Office Theodora Watts

And the Leaders consist of:

• Beardy McBeardson Bedwell
• Special Steve Bicyclist Motorcop Rowsell
• Pete von Petey Pete Pete Slugdance Cracknell
• Lovely Likeable Leedley Leeeeeee 
• Diane and Pam, The Logical errr, Man(?)

They are beautiful, and I very love them much. They should all be awarded with awards and shiz for recognition. And we recently got a reverse TARDIS. It says "Blue Box" on it and it's bigger on the outside. We're gonna put mirrors on the ceiling for Becky and Ross...

Yurts

Hello again,

Today I have been pondering yurts. For those of you who are clearly undereducated, a yurt is a massive tent, a bit like a teepee, with a bendy Woden frame and a canvas. They're really big, bigger than my bedroom (although that isn't hard) and you can live in them all year round. Which is good. If you can get a stove or a heater, they're really cozy in the winter. So, if you're a student who still lives with their parents like the cool person you are, you can just erect (laugh if you must) a "bitching' yurt" (as John Niven calls it) in their garden and just live in it and play music and stuff. I think we should get one for Explorers, which is going to be my new project; Project Yurt.

There is, however, one problem with Project Yurt; to get a yurt big enough to fit an entire Scout Troop would be about £5000 ish. Fortunately, I am only looking to buy an 18 foot yurt, which will hopefully sleep fifteen people in sleeping bags with kit (still waiting for confirmation). Hopefully. I think we might have a problem with the funding, it'll be a lot of jumble sales.

At this point, I was going to get some other people (my parents) to give me opinions on the everyday use of the yurt. However, they've told me, in no uncertain terms, that there are more important things to do with my time than write about the everyday uses of the yurt. And that they, as everyday people, have more everyday tasks to do (such as making sure all the Lego's there before selling it) than tell me what they think about the everyday use of the yurt.  I feel disappointed and betrayed.

So yeah, I want to launch Project Yurt. It'll be really good if we can at least a time share of a yurt, if not a whole one. That's another point. If anyone wants to share a yurt on a six months either side basis, please message me, it'll be awesome. It might be easier if you live in England, or the UK, but if you're somewhere else internationally, that could be really cool too; we could do joint international yurt camps and make some twin towns to go yurting with. It could be epic.

Thanks for listening, now go do some yurt research! :) You know you want to...