Splorers: My Real Homies (Or Something)

'Allo Darleeengs. Today I am pondering the Splorers, who are perhaps my homies, besties, and the coolest people I know who I don't share the Common Room, or the lounge room at Church, with (Sorry guys, I have to put in that disclaimer).

Currently, our Explorer Scout Unit consists of:

• Andrew Wilhem Nigel Marshall
• Elizabeth Gillaaay Concertina Sartori
• Emily Rupertia Alfonz Young
• Me
• Jacktopher Arnold Maria Coleman
• Jessiqua Juan Wendy Kraushaar
• Joshua Irene Callum Roper
• MatThew Icecreamcone Raccoon Weller
• Oliver Nancy Margaret Brossi
• Philip Pippin Gorgeous Collis
• Phoebekins Noel Philanthropist Neal
• Rebecca Jayne (BJ) Tyrannosaurus (BT) Harvey
• Rossington Goatbreaker Toasteroven Staunton III
• Samantha Post Office Theodora Watts

And the Leaders consist of:

• Beardy McBeardson Bedwell
• Special Steve Bicyclist Motorcop Rowsell
• Pete von Petey Pete Pete Slugdance Cracknell
• Lovely Likeable Leedley Leeeeeee 
• Diane and Pam, The Logical errr, Man(?)

They are beautiful, and I very love them much. They should all be awarded with awards and shiz for recognition. And we recently got a reverse TARDIS. It says "Blue Box" on it and it's bigger on the outside. We're gonna put mirrors on the ceiling for Becky and Ross...

Year 13 :S

This week, as the current Year Thirteens have been planning and executing their final scheduled days at Owen's, apparently not actually doing any work, I have started pondering what it'll be like for us next year. There are several things which are worrying me and these are what I want to write about today, not that anyone actually reads this (in pretendy posh accent) garbaaaarrrge.

Firstly that I'll end up not keeping in touch with people. Not just the important people (they know who they are, CBA to list them all), but less important people like Martha and Kelly (joke, I very love you much...). Seriously though, I saw the current year 13s saying goodbye to each other today and it became very real how far they'll be spreading out; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world; traveling all over the country now, perhaps even Europe, the world. They're probably never going to see 190/200 of those people ever again, and as for anyone else they know at Owen's, well they'll almost definitely not keep in touch with them. That scares me. These people have been a MASSIVE part of my life for the last six years, not necessarily a good part most of them, but I've seen them practically every day for about 1/3 of my life. 


Clearly there are some people I never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever want to see again (I'll leave that to the imagination), but there are so many great people at Owen's that I really want to keep in touch with, and I'm so scared that I'll never get to laugh at their failures (or oddly-sized shorts) again. That really scares me. I know I said that already, but it honestly does.


Secondly, what the hell should I have on the back of my leavers' hoody? I can't just have "Cracknell", that's boring. The only nicknames I have are "Crackpot", which has very negative connotations in some circles, and "Em Schmem", which only Alice calls me. Actually, that'd be pretty cool. Maybe I'll get that. OK, that problem's solved. Comments?

Finally, once I leave the safety of Owen's and the regularities of this life, I have to face the harsh truths of the real world. THAT is scary. I mean, I think my problems are pretty big at the moment, but they'll just get bigger once I leave this microcosm and join the actual rat race. The World's a big place, I don't know if I'm ready to be pat of it yet, and I'm pretty sure I won't be in a year's time either.

Sorry, offloading on the general public. not that anyone actually reads this shiz apart from Kelly, Martha and Misa, and they'll just be happy I've mentioned their names (Except Misa, who's probably on the run from the police....).

Sexism

I have been feeling self-righteous today and pondering why men feel we're worse at everything than they are. Today I have seen at least six television adverts about how weak and pathetic women are and it's beginning to annoy me; any of you who know me at all will know that I don't take kindly to sexism against either men or women, especially if it's not meant as a joke, clearly.

I can take a joke by the way, I'm not a complete stick in the mud. Although when Andrew's involved I always pretend to be pissed because it means I always have him at my mercy...

I guess most of you have seen the recent internet and newspaper campaign in which the woman found a label in her husband's jeans saying something like "Washing Instructions: get your woman to do it, it's her job!" Now, if that had been a jokey advertising campaign, such as that used by McCoys crisps or Yorkie bar, which actually encourages women to buy it because they feel "rebellious" or whatever (personally I buy them because they're nice) it'd be fine, I have no problem with that. But hidden inside a pair of jeans? That's got to be a serious message, surely?

Anyway, what I'm saying is that sexism isn't really "fine" but there are clearly some forms we are willing to overlook, such as humour and flattery ("You're a guy, you must be big and strong" etc.) and I have no plans to turn into a raving feminist like Mackers, but come on people, think before you take the p-hizzle.

Thankee

The School Library

Today, as I have a free period and I have already "exhausted my grey matter" I am pondering the joys of our school library. There aren't many. We come in here to work during our "study periods", or free lessons, and usually end up discussing anything and everything, including (but not restricted to):

• Politics
• Facebook
• The many escapades of Ella's dog Zak
• Ditto Hannah's dog Merlin
• Jacqueline and Beccy's work experience with lambs
• Misa's plan to conquer the world/universe/multiverse
• Cake
• The Queen
• Fashion
• Sophie and Henry's suppressed sexual tension (or whatever)
• Phillip Crout (and Mrs Georgia Crout)
• Scouts/Rangers/Guides/Splorers
• How much work we have to do
• The effects of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome on the exam process

However, more often than not we sit, in our small groups, discussing the work with whoever happens to be sitting nearby. For example, today Jacqueline has been checking that her revision notes for Biology are correct, Misa and Maria have been discussing maths and, whilst I've been writing this, Ella has asked me to Goggle some physics-y thing for her.

Unfortunately the wonderful Mrs Compton doesn't seem to understand how people need to talk to each other sometimes for work to be effective; we can't always be competely independent. Some bloke once said "Man is not an island" or something similar. We should respect that; how can we check that our German essays are accurate if we can't ask people like Leila or Stanley, who know everything? Etc. etc.

I could go on about this all day but to be fair, there are some people who abuse the library. Somehow it goes unnoticed if  Stanley and Maria play Library tennis (which was really funny, we should do it again next year), but it is noticed when Oliver lies across the table and starts singing at someone (usually Chris). Yeah, that was awkward....

Examinations (Part the Second)

So, my ponderings are back for "part the two".

Adults and other old people often say that exams are getting easier. This is possible, but it is more likely that the number of opportunities we have to resit and increase our marks has practically tripled. Apart from the fact that our exam system now is spead out over several weeks, so that if you have a bad day on the day of English paper 1, you can  make up for it with English paper 2, you can also then redo English paper 1 in six months time. And if, after that, you are still not happy, you can resit again six months after that.

However, I'd like to point out that the a Level exams are NOT easy! A "friend" of mine in year 13 said that he knows people who are resitting their AS Level English paper again this month for the second time because the exam board requires three essays about six different texts to be written in two hours and that requires superhuman speed and agility (or something). Secondly, Chemistry is almost as bad; if you write one incorrect word, you can lose three marks. And we're not even talking key words, just the difference between "lots more" and "increase in" or whatever.

Personally, I think the government should have away with compulsory written exams, give people the choice as to whether they answer with a written piece, a verbal response or some other form of assessment, such as a practical exam (which there already are for some subjects) as that would be a much fairer way of assessing people based on their own skill set. Or, as they've begun to do in primary schools, continuous assessment throughout your time at school, rather than three weeks of pressure at the end of every year; in what possible way is that an accurate representation of someone's performance??!?!?!

Thanks for listening to my random and annoyed/annoying wafflings. Have a nice day and good luck in your exams!

Examinations (Part the First)

So, here I am in a German lesson (hooray!) and I find myself pondering, surprise surprise, the impending exam period. Written exams are actually the most pointless invention of the human race since someone decided that the eyelash curler would be a step forward. When do I ever need to be able to write a coherent essay after I finish in education? Surely being able to write a decent letter which achieves a purpose is a much more marketable skill? Or being able to physically tell the difference between Hydrochloric acid and water, rather than the different effects they have on the human body after consumption. Isn't it a bit late by that point?

And what about the sheer number of exams we have to participate in? Seriously, next Wednesday I have two exams on the same day and I have to write five essays. Five essays. When will I ever have to write coherently about "Frankenstein" under timed conditions again (with the exception of the retake I'll have to undoubtedly do in January)? How is it in any way useful to put teenagers under this much stress for four years? I'm not suggesting that we should have the old-style exams, where your entire future was balanced on one five-hour long paper on the history of the sock or whatever, but there has to be a better way!

Seeing as this is going to turn into a very long rant, I'll post the next bit as a separate post. Stay tuned (or something...)!

Odd Requests

Today I have been pondering odd requests, such as the one which was put to me on Thursday.

As a result of this, today several of my friends and I went to meet up with Ross and some of his friends (who we had never met) at the cinema in Enfield. This was both funny and awkward as Ross didn't bother to introduce us to his friends, so we named them Julio. All of them. Well, apart from one, who we named Juan. He was our favourite; there was also one (Julio) who looked like Michael Crout, which was really funny. So, after being asked to see a film  I wasn't particularly interested in seeing, but which was very good, with a bunch of people I didn't know, I didn't even get to know the people I didn't know. But Josh Roper came, and that was nice.

As part of today's outing, I have now purchased a bright turquoise wig and a pair of fetching rose-tinted spectacles. They are both amazing and look rather sexy whether worn together or separately. It really is better looking at the world through rose-tinted spectacles; everything looks very grey when you remove them. I'm currently considering whether or not I could get away with wearing them for exams, as a medical purpose (preventing depression or sleep). I'm also wondering whether the head would allow the wearing of a turquoise wig as part of the uniform; it doesn't say we can't wear wigs.

So yeah, that's all really, I like fun fun fun things.

By the way, I have Twitter. If you want to follow me, or tell me or anything, or just laugh at the two happy whales I have as my picture, then please do. It's probably #EmPernilla I'm not quite sure how this dooby works. I also don't use Twitter much, ever, so I don't even know why I am suggesting this, but it seems like the cool thing to do these days.